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Total War: Warhammer II

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Minor Skirmish: Toothpick 2

What happens when you merge an extensive computerised wargame with a boardgame thingy called Warhammer. Ya know, that thing with Elves and Dark Elves and Elves in stetson hats.

A high fantasy computer game… I guess. Blimey, I feel a long-ass review coming on.

Warhammer board game

Oopfh… Look at the detail on that. Image courtesy of ‘ere.

Oohh, Warhammer features vampires. Neat.

For those with little knowledge of both things, let’s sum it up. You’ve a bloody big map to spawn armies from and you’ll get to decide when to march your hard earned armies into real time battles. Rather than control a thousand individual units, they are bunched into squads. Top tip, spearman are pretty good against big fleshy horses.

Oh… I can’t actually play as a vampire clan. Only battle against them. Aw.

I appreciate the vision of the Total War games. Big sweeping epic battles. Big sweeping giant maps. Big sweeping bugs. Sometimes the visions simply too big and it crushes under it’s own weight. Regardless Total War games are nearly always interesting.

Now… how interesting is Total War: Warhammer II?

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Mario Odyssey

Super Mario Odyssey

SHORT REVIEW: NINTENDO SWITCH

I can confirm Calypso doesn’t seduce a mustachioed plumber for an unreasonable number of years.

Mario’s been around for over 30 years, which means there’s 30 years of terrible introductions to each game. Here’s another.

Odyssey is a continuation of the fantastic Super Mario 3D World on the horrifically dead Wii U. It was one of my favourite Mario adventures to date and such excitement can only lead to disappointment. Let’s hope not, ‘ey.

Let’s check out the platforming action in a three dimensional environment.

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Splatoon 2

SHORT REVIEW: NINTENDO SWITCH

Let’s mention the original Splatoon…. Hmm… Let’s say 7 times.

Did you ever read reviews of the original game?

You have? Don’t bother clicking more. I mean, the sequels more of the same. Have a nice day and good on ya. Mind how ya’ go.

Wait… you’re still here. Ok, here’s a description of the game?

Splatoon 2

Someones made a right bloody mess round ‘ere.

Hot from the wacky minds of Nintendo comes the sequel to one of the most inventive online shooters for years!

Transferring to the plucky Switch, Splatoon 2 changed things up by changing the focus from shooting the enemy, to covering the map in your chosen colour! Wowsers!

So how does the sequel change things up?

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Shadow of War

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Middle of that Earth: Shadow of that Wars: From that Lord of that Rings

I’ve spent many an hour in the land of Mordor and have had a wonderful time there, despite what the brochure said. The original game spawned a lengthy retrospective and I am unhappy to report that it included a rather vicious disclaimer. You see, the original games plot… was… let’s say… lacking. Hey, let’s hope I won’t have to do that again.

Once again we inhabit brave Ranger Talion with wraith body-roommate Celebrimbor and I’m pretty confident they’ll improve on the lacklustre story.

Let’s find out.

Disclaimer – The following introduction berates a creatively bankrupt team. Again. Light swearing applicable.

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Eggnogg

Oh, the games really called Eggnogg+. The plus is important 

Let’s talk about a small free game I’ve only recently found out about. I know, I’m late to the party, but at least I did show up.

Last month we reviewed Nidhogg 2 with vast amounts of booze. Sadly no-one in the group wanted to play the game again. Ever.

No problem. I guess we could replay the original Nidhogg… Oh wait. What about…

Drumroll

Star Trek Discovery

Star Trek Discovery

Star Trek returns to our screens after a 12 year hiatus. Wait… are we seriously counting Enterprise?

Star Trek returns to our screens after a 16 year hiatus. Unrelated to the recent JJ Abrams action films we follow Michael Burnham’s adventure 10 years prior to the original Star Trek series. You know the one, with that Kirk bloke. It also looks a lot like the JJ Abrams action films.

Ignoring the cosy Star Trek format of the past, this series tells the overarching story of a war. Yes. A bloody war.

Wait… is this a soft reboot? Urgh… that term. Oh well. Let’s not judge too hastily, despite the sheer endorphin pleasure of doing so.

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Road Redemption

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

It’s like modern Road Rash they scream! “Yes”, you nod sagely. “Yes it is”.

Early Access is a strange beast. You can own the guts of a game for up to 2 years before an update appears out of the blue, and bing! You are now the proud owner of a shiny brand new game. Not sure on this term “Early Access”? … Why not check out the glossary.

rr3

Look. All I’m saying is some mudda’ is ganna get knocked the f…

Road Redemption encourages you to sit comfortably in the seat of a motorcycle, swinging shovels at fellow racers in anger.

It’s all rather exciting.

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Cuphead

Cuphead

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Cuphead had fans before anyone had the chance to play it. How do you temper mass wild expectations?

I’ll start by telling you what the game’s all about. Then I’ll descend into why I’m not a huge fan of this particular type of platform game; before I attempt to reconcile the rabid contractions whipping around in my mind. You might have to bear with me on this one.

The story is a simple one. Cuphead enrols in a soul collection scheme after being fooled by the devil. Does the gameplay match such fetching looks? Please shrug and read on.

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Heat Signature

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Aka. Warm Hancock.

I was keen to play Heat Signature the first time I come across it. It’s everything I thought it would be and ooh I’m bored of it now.

Yes. I know. One of those reviews. Please dismiss the following coherent thoughts.

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Nidhogg 2

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

I’m not saying everyone else is reviewing this game wrong…

What you will need for today’s review of Nidhogg 2: –

A copy of the game.

2 control pads.

A minimum of 3 like-minded friends.

An adequate supply of booze.

Preparation: –

Ensure your gaming area is sterilised and filled with pizza and/or chicken. Verbal game instructions are limited to “hold up on the pad, to throw ya’ weapon”.

I think we are ready to review Nidhogg.

Remember incoherence and bile are part of the charm.

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Greedy Guns

Greedy Guns

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Inspired by Gunstar Heroes you say? Metal Slug? A metroidvania shooter… Go on….

Oh dear Sir… I couldn’t possibly think of insulting you by explaining the above references. For those fresh to the genre, I believe in you. I believe in your ability to look things up.

Ever wanted to live your life as a red nosed mercenary, just like your favourite comedian on Red Nose day? Well now you can with Greedy Guns!

I could waffle on but I think you’ll probably know exactly what this games about with a single screenshot

Greedy Guns 3

Light shooting shenanigans.

Doesn’t that look lovely? Greedy Guns is a product of a successful 2016 Kickstarter raising the modest sum of £11,653.00. We must ignore such humble beginnings and ask the question of any game released on a computer system. Is it any good?

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Game of Thrones: The Ending Guessing Game

Season 7 of the hottest show on television has come to explosive end. 

With just one season left how will the greatest show of all time™ end? The team at inputError have put together their theories for your reading pleasure.

Using clues from the TV show, books and a few arguments we’ve had late at night on Twitter, we have collated below a list of things that you need to look out for in Season 8, as some of them definitely could happen.

So join us, as we guess who ends up on the Iron Throne. IF IT’S NOT MELTED BY THE END, right? RIGHT?!

CLICK HERE!

star citizen

Star Citizen: Face Nonsense

I wrote a long waffling intro about Star Citizen and promptly deleted it.

All you really need to know is…

this technology looks great! ‘Ave a watch.

Version 3.0 is soon to be released with the ability to land on procedurally generated planets, ground vehicles an’ all manner of fun things. Nice.

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Sonic Mania

SHORT REVIEW: NINTENDO SWITCH

Sonic Monomania

Sonic Mania is the natural continuation of the original 2D Sonic games from yesteryear. As the internet’s going crazy for the game let’s cut straight to it.

Is the hype and excitement warranted?

Yes.

If you grew up with fond memories of classic Sonic, you will derive much pleasure from this game.

you want to know more?

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Titanfall 2

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VERSION

Let’s play a game: Guess the word of the review

Once or twice a year I (secretly) take the plunge into the murky world of online shooters. I consider them throwaway experiences. Pop in. Shoot some people. Get called Noob before moving on. I seldom speak of this odd behaviour as I never spend enough time with these games to have a strong opinion.

Wait. Does this indicate a strong opinion?

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Behold the Kickmen

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Hot News Update: Man makes computer game of the sporting variety. 

I can’t think of a better way to describe the game then copy and pasting the Steam blurb. No, it’s not lazy! How dare you for thinking such a thing.

BEHOLD THE KICKMEN is a football game made by someone who has no understanding of, or interest in, what is affectionately known as “The Wonderful Game”. Start at the bottom of the Big Boring Football Spreadsheet and grind your way up to become the best at the football anyone’s ever seen.

The other, most important thing to keep in mind is the cheap, cheap price of £2.51? Gee-whizz!

Behold the Kickmen Warning

I do enjoy a good warning screen.

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Bris Funny Fest

Running A Festival In A Foreign Country

I’d always wanted to live abroad. Technically moving to London, England was living abroad after being raised in Bridgend, Wales but only a total prick would actually speak those words out loud. Sure I’d been on lots of holidays, but my FOMO was real when it came to my peers who had gone ‘travelling’, talking of their experiences as being on some sort of higher plane than my mere taster of foreign cultures. Whilst I never had the courage to take the financial leap into the red to hop on a train and discover myself, I couldn’t help feeling like I was going to regret the decision in my later life.

Fast forward more years than I’d like to admit, and I now live in Brisbane, the one in Australia. Over time I postured that even those who went travelling never really got to see a place, never got to understand the positives, negatives and tedium that a place can offer. I wanted to be taken out of my comfort zone with my close-knit group of friends and try and find my place in a city on the opposite side of the planet which I’d never been to before. Living in London saw tourists galore, and people who were there for a summer or a few months, people who barely got to scratch the surface of what living there was truly like. Life isn’t all about great experiences, it’s about everything from a good night out to filing taxes, you need to experience the bad to appreciate the good. I had a chip on my shoulder that I needed to get chiselled off one way or another. My then-girlfriend now-wife was a huge inspiration to making it a reality, having lived in multiple countries of her own volition since she was a teenager. After she got the job offer in Brisbane, we decided to go for it. Meanwhile, I tried to appear as though I was assured of our decision while inwardly panicking that I was making a huge mistake.

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