About Scott Pritchard

http://inputerror.co.uk

Wibble, Wobble, Wibble, Wobble. Wibble: - Wobble. Now that is a Bio.

Posts by Scott Pritchard:

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Pathologic: Marble Nest Demo

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Good news everyone.

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Not an excuse to load the page with gifs, honest.

Do you like free thingys? Did you not buy any of the highly rated games of the year? Do you have spare time? Erm, good, I think.

Hidden away on it’s steam page is a small stand-alone Pathologic demo created by the excellently named Ice Pick Lodge. Your mighty test is to find the demo button. So, you can click here for the steam page… if ya’ want.

It’s a standalone experience, so knock yourself out.

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The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

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SHORT REVIEW: wii u VERSION

This is a game where most reviews are rendered null and void, as they simply do not matter. Didn’t you see the word Zelda in the title?

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is a game of discovery, secrets and surprises. So in essence, fuck the internet right now. It’s like the games media’s running a competition as to who can spoil the game in the most. They might as well start every article with ”ave you seen this, mate!”.

So indulge me as we enter none-spoiler valley, to peek at the most well received game of our time. Incidentally, I won’t insult you by explaining any of the light story elements. Newcomers only need know this; you are the hero Link in the land of Hyrule.

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Marvin the martian

The Great Game Statement of March

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What do you mean it’s been quiet ’round here? I’m currently getting through The Last Guardian, lovely new Zelda, Torment and even Final Fantasy.

Unfortunately these games take over a year to review, especially as I’m not a fan of cracking premature opinions to a strict deadline. I know, it doesn’t help the clicks. (Note – need more clickbait). Wait, new Nier’s out already!? Wait, I don’t have advertisers to suppliant!

Good news! I have played lots of other games. Bad news. I’ve not had the ability to really get my teeth in them. Unsuitable for review purposes you might say. Could also say that most of them didn’t deserve the time.

It would be a shame for all that fantastic knowledge to go to waste. So let’s go through each and every one of them. In a paragraph or two. So c’mon guys, check out this hot take.

I don’t know what a hot take is. Why is it hot? Truth be told, it’s likely cold now.

C’mon guys, check out this cold take.

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Assassins Creed: The Movie

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Director: Justin Kurzel / Screenplay: Adam Cooper / Release date: 1 January 2017

Actors: Michael Fassbender / Genre: Fantasy/Science ‧ 2h 20m

I did not watch this film as I was playing the cripplingly addictive Motorsport Manager. The movie played in the background.

I refuse to look up the plot, characters or even basic details such as character names; all in the name of journalistic integrity.

I’m confident that watching the film at periodic intervals with a single eye, is the correct universal method of watching Assassin Creed. Please do not attempt this method with a Torment: Tides of Numenera, as such a game requires your full focus.

So, let’s get started with an in-depth review!

Indignant additional commentary by Joey Jo Jo

On with the Review!

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Motorsport Manager

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SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

You prepare the cars, race the cars, and sing the cars theme tune.

Have you ever wanted to experience the giddy thrill of the motorsport management? No…No… Not the cool driving bit, the sitting in the office bit. I’ve no interest in car sports and even less interest in the management side of things. So we bellow from the rooftops, “why am I playing this game and will it send me full Ecclestone?”

That was it for car-themed references, we won’t try that again.

On with the review

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Elite Dangerous: Arena

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Come one, come all. Welcome to the grand closure of a game mode I’d completely forgotten about.

I very much enjoyed Elite Dangerous, up until the time I didn’t. That wonderful apathetic feeling snuck up on me slowly like a cheeky, possibly green Thargoid* in an oversized stetson hat. I must confess, I didn’t visit Elite Dangerous: Arena, the all-action dogfighting spin-off. By all-action I mean, classic continually-turning spaceships attempting to get behind one another, in a glorious loop of attrition.

* A Thargoid isn’t a hemorrhoid cream, but the name of the aliens in the Elite universe.

Anyway, you can no longer buy Arena as a cheap standalone extra anymore. No players, playing, you see. As this modes redundancy arrives as we ask the more important question.

Why didn’t I love Elite Dangerous?

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Double Dragon IV

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SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Sometimes I look at a game’s file size and think, “wow over 500 MB. I’d love to see that crammed on a ye’ old cartridge! 90 hours of the finest midi music? Offph, just look at the size of that programming.” 

As a twinkly eyed youth I loved Dougle Dragnet and I’m unsure why there would be a direct sequel in 2017.

I hope the development team have taken note of all the lovely modern progress that’s going around.

Enough jibber-jabber, to the Review

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Watch Dogs 2

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SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

The following article was originally a comparison piece between Mafia III and Watchdogs 2, but that was about as interesting as the game Mafia III. Man, that got old quick.

My scrapped article had a great intro too, as I was standing on an incredibly cheap box, dishevelled in rags, screaming at passersby’s.

Oh well,

On to a standard ol’ review, this time with a light show!

Enter for Review: Light show not applicable

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The Big Short

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Director: Adam McKay / Screenplay: Adam McKay, Charles Randolph / Release date: 22 January 2016

Actors: Christian Bale, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling / Genre: Biography, Comedy, Drama ‧ 2h 10m

On the first watch The Big Short makes for a good impression.

With a second watch, in the age of gaseous hair mounds, the film’s quite prescient.

President Fart

President Fart

Making a film about the boring ol’ financial crisis is a potentially foolish endeavour, as we all have attention spans of spanners. No-one says the word spanners anymore. People used to say “that’s blokes a spanner”. I don’t know why being a spanner is a bad thing, I just know that it is. If you do decide to look up spanner pictures, my preference is those adjustable ones, you know the ones? Adjustable an’ that. Now that’s a very fine spanner.

Read more about spanners.

spanner talk

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God Bless America

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Director: Bobcat Goldthwait / Screenplay: Bobcat Goldthwait / Release date: 4 July 2012

Actors: Joel Murray, Tara Lynne Barr / Genre: Comedy/Crime ‧ 1h 45m

“Things to watch due to the social and cultural insanity of today”.

I’m sure many of you would have missed this film, as typing “God Bless America” isn’t on your daily web browsing agenda. Maybe it is? I don’t know who’s reading this? Who are you people!

Is it lazy to reference similar things? Bah… Let’s be lazy. It will inform your peculiar tastes immediately. God Bless America has a touch of Kick-Ass, Network, Leon and, of course, Idiocracy. Plenty of people reference Falling Down as that’s the most obvious… Not us. Oh no, we won’t reference that!

Did that help pique your interest? Go on you naughty tyke, on your way, go enjoy the film. If you haven’t watched any of the above films…. You’ve got some work to do. You can always return later. Good luck.

Or read more?

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Titan Souls

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SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VERSION

Shadow of the Nostalgic? Giant Shoes? Titanic Sods?

Shadow of the Colossus meets 2D Zelda with a magic arrow and a smattering of pixel art. Everyone loves those games! What could go wrong?

I’m tempted to answer this in a one word answer, but that wouldn’t be any fun would it.

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Suicide Squad

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Director: David Ayer / Screenplay: David Ayer / Release date: 12 March 2018

Actors: Margot Robbie, Will Smith / Genre: Comic Book Nonsense ‧ 2h 17m

Super franchise! All your favourite heroes! Running around toget- wait, anti-heroes! A bunch of bastards running around together, doing things!

We got the best actors and CGI and no scriptwriters and the sexy outfits! Battles… YOU WANT BATTLES! We got all the battles. BANG! Franchise! All of your favourites appears, such as “shooting gun man” and “sexy lady!” The word “franchise”. This isn’t a film, it’s an event!

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Nintendo Switch

Nintendo Switch: Coming soon to a home near you.

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You sir! Oh yes, and you Madam! Are you interested in a new Nintendos?! Come, gather ye round, where I shall talk about nothing in particular, about a thing that isn’t out for a few months! Who knows ey’? WHO KNOWS?!

Can you taste that… it’s excitement. Excitement all over the shop! Oh, and the sound of a thousand keyboards duplicating carefully worded press-releases about a thing you can buy! See… I’m doing it right now. Blib, blib, blib… blob, blob, blob. Blib.

How exciting!

So we’ll talk about some boring facts before descending into opinions, shrugs and possibly, hope. Mostly shrugs.

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The Armando Iannucci Shows

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You know who Armando Iannucci is, don’t you? I mean, you wouldn’t click a link to such a name if you had no idea who he is? I’d like to take a moment to point out Armando is a very fine name.

If you are visiting this page without any prior knowledge… Congratulations on venturing into the unknown! If you’ve already watched The Armando Iannucci Shows. Good wasn’t it!

Iannucci is known for Veep, the Day Today, The Thick of It and even Alan Partridge.

But did you know, (no, not you, we’ve already established that you’ve seen it) that Iannucci made a self titled show in 2001?

Wanna hear why it’s still relevant?

Also, I can confirm I’ve said “Iannucci” 4… no… 5 times now. That’s some top stats. You can look forward to more in-depth Iannucci statistics within. 6 times.

more Iannucci

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Mainstream Press Do Thing with VR

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Guardian Headline – I tried to work all day in a VR headset and it was horrible.

Alternative Heading –  The No Shit Award!

Or even…

Further Alternative Heading – I absolutely love it when a wanker wanks into a hairdryer and complains his balls are burnt.

“I persuaded my editor to let me give it a go, doing a day’s work living in a virtual world created by the Oculus Rift.” – A white gentleman with beard.

Wait, why does this article bother me so much?

I”ll explain why. Hooray!

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