Features

Opinions, facts, lies… lots of words in a very pleasing order, I can assure you.

Wii U Console

Wii U – Wasted potential

Wii U Games

Just a few decent Wii U Games.

What do you mean the Wii U was a failure? A failure to whom? Business MONEY-MEN SCUM?

The general public appeared to have missed the best Mario Kart, the best Pikmin, and the best Smash Bros. The fools!

I loved what the Wii U attempted. I’m sure a lot of people did. Although…. there is one thing that tickles my annoyance gland.

Not one developer used the Wii U to its full potential. Not even Nintendo.

The following collection of words is essentially a peek into what I really wanted from this strange little box. Or more accurately, a bizarre shotgun rant aimed at no-one in particular.

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uncharted 4

Uncharted 4: Review Comparison

Like sexy criminals we broke the review embargo with the incredible gift of the imagination. Ok, I told, I told, a load of lies.

The review embargo curse has been lifted. 

Lets see how my disgusting fabrications check out against the gaming media reviews.

My ‘review’ is here for comparison. I violently insist you read it. My review score was a 9, noting set pieces, parsnips, cinematic pacing and all that other stuff Uncharted did before.

Shall we?

facebook - claw

Online Gaming: Hatred

Let’s hope the following jibber-jabber can give you’ll a small insight into why I can’t stand playing online games with people I don’t know.

Technically I should love online gaming, but it’s gone terribly wrong. People have a tremendous capacity to ruin good ideas. 

It could be any game but on this day I installed Left 4 Dead 2. By this day I meant yesterday. I hadn’t played Left 4 Dead in over 2 years and truth be told, I wasn’t very good at it in the first place.

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Hey, It's That Guy!

Hey, It’s That Guy!

What’s this post about?

So, you’re sitting at home watching a film and you shout, “Hey, it’s that guy!” then proceed to argue with whoever else is around you about the last film where you saw them.

Obviously, you can reach out for your nearest internet device and look them up on Wikipedia or IMDb, but you won’t, as you have no idea what their character is called. Basically, I’m preparing you to win future pub quizzes and game shows. (more…)

Star Wars Hoth

The Ruinous Pursuit of Fidelity

old man

Why does he remind me of Herman Munster?

Hmm. Far we have come, INTRODUCTION WEAK YOU SAY.

My jaw dropped with Star Wars Battlefront. It’s amazing. It looks bloody amazing. The sound, the setup, the Hoth.  After enjoying the Beta I had seen everything I needed to see and enjoy. I didn’t need to revisit it, the only mode I may have continued to enjoy was the local co-op mode, but that was a bit of a mess, at least in the demo. My time with it was complete, balance was brought to my wallet.

So… the pursuit of sexy graphics

Broken batman

Microtransactions, Season Passes, Scum and Villainy

It’s not for you

Remember all, we do have a lovely glossary to combat the nonsense language to compliment the following computer game gibberish

Ye gods people, I’m outraged. Outraged, I say. Not only can giant publisher Warner Brothers sell you a completely broken Batman: Arkham Knight on the PC, but they can sell you a Linux port they don’t intend to release, forcing you to enquire for the refund yourself. You’ve pre-ordered nothing, nothing you fools! Keep buying promises from habitual liars. (more…)