Videogames

Planet Xerg has come under attack from the Beastoids. Oh, computer game plots.

Nintendo Switch

Nintendo Switch: First Look

On a talk show, within a controlled environment.

Warning: May contain Zelda gameplay. Please get excited… Now.

Blah blah blah, just watch the video from 5:40 to jump to Nintendo Switch action. No, I won’t force you to click into the article to register your interest in the matter. No, I wont force you to read my pathetic account of the video, forcing you to you scroll to the bottom of the page to hunt down the juicy video available everywhere.

Enjoy!

A few first thoughts

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FIFA 17: Kidnap Edition

SHORT REVIEW: XBOX VERSION

Hey GamerDownStreet? I SAID HEY! Sigh… He can’t hear me from up here. Let’s go down to the basement.

Right, you play that Fifa don’t cha’. C’mon, quickly now… Give me an intro.

Cough… There’s no questioning that I like Fifa, I have for the best part of fifteen years now and it’s the only football series I’ll ever play. We don’t play that Pro Evolution garbage round ‘ere, no way. I love that EA take the same formula and literally dust it off, repackage it and sell it to us like it’s brand new. If it ain’t broke and all that…

Let’s get to work

Halcyon 6

Halcyon 6: Starbase Commander

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine the pixel art computer game; but not really, wink. 

How’s this for a piss-poor first day at work? You finally get that swanky promotion to base commander, only to witness the destruction of your beloved Federation. Those pesky uncommunicative murderous space aliens, always with the random acts of mass slaughter on your happy day. Anyway, I guess you’re the last line of defence, again. So… protect your space station and rebuild the Federation. No problem.

Hey, not the worst set up, is it? I had no idea the game was funded through Kickstarter or created in front of a baying early access crowd. It’s good to be patient.

I’m pleased to report they dodged the “cease and desist” letter from Paramount.

Let’s have a little chat

Driveclub VR

Driveclub VR

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

How many times can you say “It’s amazing sitting in this thing”, before a well deserved slap finds my face. Oh hum. 

I can save you some time here. If you’ve already read the EVE: Valkyrie review, replace the word “spaceship” with “car”, jump to the score and nod approvingly.

Regardless I’ll try to keep it brief. These VR reviews are starting to congeal into a brown pool of review goo with the word immersive stuck in the top. Bit like the flake in an ice cream. An immersive flake.

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No Mans Sky

No Mans Sky gets an update announcement

Blimey, that games company that made that game finally said some things? Good.

The Foundation update you say? Hah… I thought the game had a fine foundations. The static universe, displeasing hype and the lack of meaningful pursuits harmed proceedings. At least 20-odd year old Elite Frontier had light piracy, rising through the military ranks and most exciting of all, being a spacebus.

Saying that, I didn’t hate No Mans Sky at all, in fact, quite the opposite and I’m excited by what the foundation update represents.

Short post-release thoughts… incoming!

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dirt cheap

Top 10 Cheap Playstation 4 games

The Playstation Pro is fantastic news for those buying a standard Playstation 4 on the cheap!

Thinking of upgrading to the latest (3 years old now) generation of console gaming?

Great news! A weighty back catalogue of top-notch games await for the incredible sum of next to nothing. Handy, as you’ve just blown most of your budget on the fancy games machine itself.

Please enjoy the following recommendations. Also, congratulations on holding out.

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O! My Genesis

O! My Genesis

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Wait? I get to play God for £2.49? Seriously? Count me in. Hang on one second, what am I purchasing here? Why is it so incredibly cheap?

O! My Genesis consists of a tutorial and one level. O! That price makes sense. If the concept of a paid demo bothers you, this isn’t the purchase for you. Not even at the price of a luxury sandwich.

God games are tailor-made for Virtual Reality, but is a single level of O! My Genesis enough?

is it?

the fat controller

Stability, Servers and the Haunting Silence

Dear friends, our collective hobby has grown at an expedited rate. Newly-formed mega-conglomerates pursue and concentrate on ergonomic facades that perpetuate perceived business opportunities in the digital entertainment sphere.

At times this creates perplexing methods which defy expectation or logic. – Oh… a Sangria. I do like a nice Sangria.

So, business practices of the… Hey, where did all this booze come from?

Multimedia conglomerates hold all the cards with the new digital fronti- You know, this rum will almost certainly need a few ice cubes. I’ll go grab some.

Erm, where was I?

Oh yeah, click more for a rant about modern gaming an’ that, whilst I consume the odd fruit juice or two. In fact let’s have a couple now, to loosen me up. Lovely, lovely, stuff.

What? It will be fine

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Knight Squad

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Have you ever suffered from anti-nostalgia? Remember old games you didn’t love?

Do you remember gauntlet? I do and I didn’t much care for it. No sir; not even on the swanky arcade machines, not even with 4 players.

Knight Squad appears to be from the ye ‘ol age of arcades. Can a rusty relic of an idea be improved upon in this day and age? Can my mind be swayed? Are these my feet?

Are they!?

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EVE: Valkyrie

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Interesting fact: Casually remark to a friend that seldom plays computer games “Hey, would you like to fly a spaceship?” the majority will say “no”. What is the world coming to!

Hey you, yes you! Would you like to fly a spaceship?

Of course it’s a yes!

EVE: Valkyrie is the first proper full priced VR game I’ve acquired. Is it worth such considerable expense or is this just another short “experience”?

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Headmaster

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

I can confirm Headmaster is not a product intent on removing dead skin from your scalp.

Heading a football coming at you at pace has the potential to hurt. Luckily, within the world of virtual reality you can’t feel pain, yet.

An entire game based upon the concept of letting a football bounce off your head sounds like a great way to test Sony’s fancy-pants technology.

Where do we start then?

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Top 3 Computer Game Soundtracks

Recently some of the contributors of Input Error went to the IMAX as part of the BFI film festival to see “DJ Yoda Does Videogames”.

A selection of video game soundtracks and games-inspired videos from the last 30 odd years on a gigantic screen? It was great.

Now thats-a-gots-us-a-thinkings. What are our favourite computer soundtracks?

I’m sure many of you will mutually smile, slap each other on the knee, and agree with a few of the choices below. Who knows, you might debate who’s massively wrong and why. Best keep that to yourself though.

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Carnival Games VR

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Carnival Games VR practically screams 7 out of 10 doesn’t it.

Myself and Joey Joey Jo plan to enjoy a selection of mini-games designed to show off your shiny new VR experience.

We shall review each game individually, check to see if the technology works and ask the most important question, “is it any fun?”

Is it, punk?

Pro Evolution Soccer 2017

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VERSION

He shoots! He pushes a button to simulate the feeling of scoring!

Earlier in the year I wrote a lengthy monotone retrospective on PES 2016 complete with thick eyebrows, slippers and a dour disposition. You could probably guess from the length and girth of the eyebrows, yes… I rather liked it.

Last year I considered PES 2016 the new benchmark in football based gameplay, and that warm feeling remains. In fact, a lot of what I previously mused still applies.

Oh no, ‘ere we go. Are you ready for it?

“It’s like last years, but a little better, kinda… cough.” 

I mean, they only had 12 months to spruce the place up and 2 months of that was preparing for Xmas. This reviews a total waste of fucking time. Hey, why not click more?Party Hard

more – no, really

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Camping adventures in Rimworld: Part 5

The final adventure in Rimworld.

The adventure began here. Missed part 4? Here it is. The rest you can find yourself, I believe in you.

Vix the master builder, Lloyd the turkey whisperer and some guy called Scott finally reach the end of their camping adventure. Yes, all of this really happened in game, in fact, I had to omit tiny details or we would have been here all day.

Does it end in an enviable bloodbath? Would they all survive the year? What will become of Gerald the gentleman monkey?

One last look at the campsite

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Haptic feedback and you: Exciting Technology News

Some lesser people would use the term “exclusive” whilst bragging about technology other people haven’t had the privilege of messing with. Not us though, oh no. We would never stoop so low.

The following article contains exclusive revelations to hopefully excite you into a gibbering frenzy.

Apology – I wish to apologise for both the quality of the above joke and the duality of the incredible lie, as the following prototype has been around for 10 years. I’m both saddened and proud by such outrageous claims and the abuse of the general public’s ignorance on new technological matters. Thank you for your patience and please hit like, subscribe and give me money. I will lie again.

We have a new way of viewing the world around us with the introduction of affordable Virtual Reality. Now all we need is a new way to interact with these worlds.

Let’s talk Haptic controls.

So what the hell is a haptic-ma-jigger? Can it make me a cup of tea? What are you talking about? Why should I care about this thing? I don’t know what it is, can I buy one?

Tell me more!

Playstation VR

Playstation VR Demo Disc

SHORT REVIEW – FROM THE TOUCHLINE – PS VR

Welcome to today’s game, Aldershot Town Vs Haberdashery FC

Kick off 3pm. Referee: Mr Tommy Squeaker.

“So Faulstinho Di Trickyshit, you’ve an incredible disposable income. You must have tried the ol’ Virtual Reality right?

“Put a fucky headset on my fucky head right? Yeah mate, I done all that. Messed my hair right up”

“Wow Faulstino, what a life, your hair looks great! Tell me more!” Kick off

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Batman: Arkham VR

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Who are you? Batman. No, really. I am him. 

The wonderful thing about most VR games is that they’re piss-easy to review, as you’ve finished them by the time you finished reading this.

So the ultimate question is…

… Is Batman: Arkham VR worth your money?

Also, how the hell do you give it a score?

Welcome to an exceedingly short review to match the length of the game.

ZOK!

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Shadow Warrior 2

SHORT REVIEW (SINGLE PLAYER ONLY): PC VERSION

Penis Joke.

Did any of you kindly upstanding people play the Shadow Warrior reboot a few years ago? It was pretty good. Before Nu-Doom stole all the party poppers and set off a one man conga line, 2013’s Shadow Warrior showed just how fun a simple ol’ fashioned gore em’ up could be. Who doesn’t like chopping demons into itty-bitty bits at top speed? Incidentally I’ve now retired the term “Nu-Doom”, so let’s not use that ever again. Ever.

So, review of a sequel ‘ey? How long before we fall deep into clichés and references to the original game…. Let’s try to avoid that, right? Right?

More Wang Please