Videogames

Planet Xerg has come under attack from the Beastoids. Oh, computer game plots.

Hyper Light Drifter

Hyper Light Drifter

Hyper Giants

What do you mean they look creepy?

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Go on, look at it. Look at the lovely Pixels you pervert. 

I’ve kickstarted a fair few games in the past and knew actually what I was getting myself into. A tough, pixel art, top down exploring adventure. So what did we get?

A tough, pixel art, top down exploring adventure.

That’s good then.

Update – Score has been amended due to pleasing updates.

(more…)

Pro Evolution Soccer Keeper!

Pro Evolution Soccer 2016

Pro Evolution Soccer London Kebab Shop

The smell of meaty glory.

RETROSPECTIVE: PS4 VERSION

Do you like football? Do you like football computer games? Do you like ankles?  Do you like underwear combustion tablets? No reason, I’m just interested.

We don’t have much time. Let’s get into this immediately. The controls to PES 2016 are wonderfully contextual. No messing with special button combinations to flick the ball around the pitch, the passing’s crisp, the player AI’s superb, it looks great. Want to ping the ball across the pitch? Sure thing, Baines.

So there you have it, PES 2016 is the very best football videogame at this current moment in time.

Nothing to see here, move on

Star Wars Hoth

The Ruinous Pursuit of Fidelity

old man

Why does he remind me of Herman Munster?

Hmm. Far we have come, INTRODUCTION WEAK YOU SAY.

My jaw dropped with Star Wars Battlefront. It’s amazing. It looks bloody amazing. The sound, the setup, the Hoth.  After enjoying the Beta I had seen everything I needed to see and enjoy. I didn’t need to revisit it, the only mode I may have continued to enjoy was the local co-op mode, but that was a bit of a mess, at least in the demo. My time with it was complete, balance was brought to my wallet.

So… the pursuit of sexy graphics

Broken batman

Microtransactions, Season Passes, Scum and Villainy

It’s not for you

Remember all, we do have a lovely glossary to combat the nonsense language to compliment the following computer game gibberish

Ye gods people, I’m outraged. Outraged, I say. Not only can giant publisher Warner Brothers sell you a completely broken Batman: Arkham Knight on the PC, but they can sell you a Linux port they don’t intend to release, forcing you to enquire for the refund yourself. You’ve pre-ordered nothing, nothing you fools! Keep buying promises from habitual liars. (more…)

satellite reign

Satellite Reign

satellite reign 2

Happy Day Trip

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Chocolate Reign, Chocolate Reign, riding through the glen, Chocolate Reign, Chocolate Reign, with its tiny men.  

The spiritual sequel to Syndicate and Syndicate Wars… wait lets start that again.

The spiritual sequel to two of my favourite games of all time had been kickstarted to the tune of £461,333. Not the greatest sum of money ever raised. I hope they acquired additional funding. I mention this merely to expose what a triumph Satellite Reign is. (more…)

legomarvelavengers

Lego Marvel Avengers

L-L-Lego Yeah

SHORT REVIEW: PC version

Outrageous Lego news as Marvel attempt military coup on small island in the pacific, also review of silly computer game follows

I absolutely love the Lego platform games. Smashing levels to bits is possibly some form of mild psychological issue, possibly acute toy-smash disorder. Indeed, a not-so-guilty secret, you might say. (more…)