The following contains a loose collection of thoughts as I adventure through Pandora. Pandora is the name of the Borderlands world. What do you mean you knew that already? No need for that language! Look, I was simply explaining just in case you had no idea. You want me to go into the legend Pandora’s box? No? Well shutup then.
This isn’t really what the games about. Looks nice and exciting though.
SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION
Review of a 4x strategy game? Oh dear… Reviews for games of this genre tend to waffle on a bit, innit’. Not on this website, oh no. This calls for a short review.
“What is a 4x strategy game?” you mutter. Why, it’s a nerd game in which you do a Star Trek. You start with a single planet and attempt to best rival civilisations to take over the galaxy. Hopefully to the soundtrack of an 80’s montage sequence.
You are. Oh yes, you are.
Paradox Interactive have made some of the finest nerd games known to man, in fact Crusader Kings II is one of my most cherished playthings in recent years. Even if it was a massive pain in the arse to get into.
How do Paradox fare when they come to boldly, something, man has gone to something, something, before. Space.
Dynamic Duo! Terrible Twosome! Pair of Thieving Cunts!
SHORT FAKE REVIEW: PS4 VERSION
Please sit down in an oversized cozy chair as I regale you with some affable lies. YES! We shall review Uncharted 4 without playing it.
No, I didn’t manage to get a stolen copy, nice work crooks. Anyway, lets predict the gaming media’s reviews!
Uncharted 4: A Thimbles End begins with an bombastic intro. Taking cues from all your favourite Hollywood films, it explodes on screen with exciting set pieces and some climbing that you cannot fail. (more…)
Super fop, Super mop, Super Cop starring Jackie Chan.
I’ve played some amazing games that break the fourth wall in recent times. Stanley Parable, Undertale, Pony Island and now Superhot.
The Stanley Parable was ridiculously clever and very few games have ever made me laugh as much. Undertale is an incredible adventure that has heart. Both of these games are special and toyed with the relationship between player and creator. Playing Pony Island soon after Undertale… juuuuust about got away with it.
Satanic Knife-set, Lucifer Shivs, Devil Chopsticks, Robert Duvall Digger.
Devil Daggers chucks you far in to the deep end. No tutorials, no guidance and a swift death. You operate within a small space with Eldritch Monstrosities throwing themselves at you until you weep and run away. Or attempt to shoot them whilst running away, mostly running away.
Why… that could make for a rip-roaring fun time! (more…)
Chocolate Reign, Chocolate Reign, riding through the glen, Chocolate Reign, Chocolate Reign, with its tiny men.
The spiritual sequel to Syndicate and Syndicate Wars… wait lets start that again.
The spiritual sequel to two of my favourite games of all time had been kickstarted to the tune of £461,333. Not the greatest sum of money ever raised. I hope they acquired additional funding. I mention this merely to expose what a triumph Satellite Reign is. (more…)
Outrageous Lego news as Marvel attempt military coup on small island in the pacific, also review of silly computer game follows
I absolutely love the Lego platform games. Smashing levels to bits is possibly some form of mild psychological issue, possibly acute toy-smash disorder. Indeed, a not-so-guilty secret, you might say. (more…)