“I wish to live in a world without conflict, a world where we can leave the front door unlocked. A world where I’m allowed into every bedroom! I believe! I BELIEVE this world is within reach! Your nominees are: -”
Eggs applauding as they are squeezed from the chickens arse. They somehow clap as they roll towards the edge of the table. Screaming as they reach the edge, cracking in a gooey mess. Still they clap. They never stop. Please stop the eggs from clapping.
Could Rogue One be the New Hope we’re looking for?
Didn’t like that line? Get used to it… That’s the level of dialogue to be expected from this new Star Wars film.
Sometimes you’ll hear a nice thing about a film… Then a few more nice things. Before you realise it, you’ve resigned yourself to a trip to the cinema. Hopes aren’t overly raised. Prequels are pretty flawed films from the get-go. Still, let’s hope we are taken on a nice journey.
Let’s have a very brief chat about that new Star Wars.
None of you have a gold plated gaming Jacuzzi. None of you matter.
Hello Little People, it is I. Faulstino Di Trickyshit. Football player, model and games entheusthac…Enthusth… Fan.
This years been a great year for me. Remember my calendar is available from all good stores! I’m particularly fond of March. Anyway, here’s a list of the best trolling efforts brought to you by the games industry this year.
Welcome to the 2016 Top Troll Games of 2016 in 2016.
Big wordy RPG? Oh no… This is ganna be a long ting innit.
When an ancient looking, sorry, classic Role Playing game is released in 2016, the simplest way to describe it is to reference Baldur’s Gate.
That was released over 18 years ago.
This is what happens when you grow up with games. So, for those that understand that incredibly old reference, skip to the review. If any of you young whipper-snappers have stumbled across this website by mistake, I’ll stick around and attempt to describe what an old-fashioned isometric RPG is.
No, there isn’t any video content… What do you mean you’ll just look it up on that youstubes. You young people, with your flashy comic-sans words, video content and hippidy-hop-scotch ways, not wanting to read things, grumble, grumble.
“So… In a dungeon again?”
You know Fallout 4 and Skyrim an’ that. Baldur’s gate is the 2D version. But better.
Rather than concentrating on beautiful vistas and slow-mo shooting, these crusty ol’ games had lots and lots of words, world-building and ideas. Some of them very silly indeed. I’m confident no RPG has come close to the original Fallouts low intelligence dialogue options. If you create a stupid character, named… erm…. “Rory Plopper”, you weren’t given a penalty to spell-casting or hacking emails. You’ve spawned a barely functioning, simpering idiot, hardly capable of speaking. Don’t you wanna play that game? Don’t you want to be Rory Plopper?
Bloody hell… even the intro was bloody long. Ok, let’s get on with it!
Warning: May contain Zelda gameplay. Please get excited… Now.
Blah blah blah, just watch the video from 5:40 to jump to Nintendo Switch action. No, I won’t force you to click into the article to register your interest in the matter. No, I wont force you to read my pathetic account of the video, forcing you to you scroll to the bottom of the page to hunt down the juicy video available everywhere.
Hey GamerDownStreet? I SAID HEY! Sigh… He can’t hear me from up here. Let’s go down to the basement.
Right, you play that Fifa don’t cha’. C’mon, quickly now… Give me an intro.
Cough… There’s no questioning that I like Fifa, I have for the best part of fifteen years now and it’s the only football series I’ll ever play. We don’t play that Pro Evolution garbage round ‘ere, no way. I love that EA take the same formula and literally dust it off, repackage it and sell it to us like it’s brand new. If it ain’t broke and all that…