YOU WONT BELIEVE NUMBER 1! Forget the other numbers, just read the first number of the list. you won’t even need to read the rest. just the first Bloody number. go on, you won’t believe it. honest.
Welcome to even more scoops from the Gutter!
A selection of scandals you have already read before, now with augmented pictures to back up the many, many lies!
1. Ant and Dec have never filled out a tax return form.
2. Despite appearances Floyd Mayweather is never happier when on his allotment tending to his parsnips.
3. In a misguided attempt to cryogenically escape 2016, Tesco employees have once again found Richard Gere huddled behind a stack of Finders crispy pancakes, in the cold storage freezer. Gere, 67 years old, refuses to comment.
4. Placeholder: Make up something about some modern celebrity. Let’s say… erm. Drug addiction. No… why not an eating disorder? Nope. Drugs is better, we can photoshop whoever to look utterly fucked. Just remember to put it in later, ok.
7. In a fit of white hot, sexy rage, famous 1920’s cartoon dog, Hot-Damn Gee-Willikers Diggidy-Dog wrote 10 unpublished musicals between 1932 and 1934. It has been long rumoured Andrew Lloyd Webber found and plagiarised the collection, including “Kitten Walk” and “Some Masked Singing Guy”.
5.a. Famed animal activist Will Smith has been widely praised for saving numerous guide dogs from cruel servitude. Smith has since set up the charity “The Prevention of Working Dogs” to much fanfare. In an exclusive interview to a packed crowd Smith told us “We are proud to confirm only 4 blind people have perished, whilst over 40 dogs have since enjoyed the freedom afforded by our spacious Kennel mansions”. Smith went on to say “If homes are not found within 10 days, they will of course, have to be put down. But I’m glad to say the phones haven’t stopped”. We fully endorse the charity with links at the bottom of the page. Please phone to save some dogs!
4. Sting refuses to eat free-range eggs after finding shit on one, once.