Season 7 of the hottest show on television has come to explosive end.
With just one season left how will the greatest show of all time™ end? The team at inputError have put together their theories for your reading pleasure.
Using clues from the TV show, books and a few arguments we’ve had late at night on Twitter, we have collated below a list of things that you need to look out for in Season 8, as some of them definitely could happen.
So join us, as we guess who ends up on the Iron Throne. IF IT’S NOT MELTED BY THE END, right? RIGHT?!
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Sam will find out that Dany burned his horrible dad & naive bro and will fall out with Jon for a bit over it, then take his side piece and step kid back home to Tarly Towers again. Then be friends with Jon again shortly after.
Jon Snow, I mean Aegon Targaryen, will die in the most heroic way possible. Like hanging off the side of a dragon, chopping wights with his Valyrian steel sword, then falling into some until now undiscovered volcano while clinging onto the Night King with his other hand.
Dany will have his kids though. Twins. One will be called Viserys, not for her arsehole brother, but for the dead dragon. He will be blond. Maybe called Ned too. Maybe double-barrelled! Girl will be called Lyanna. She’s dark-haired, like a Stark, but with the purple eyes of the Targaryens.
Tyrion will have it confirmed that he is a Targaryen too, so Cersei will have no problem trying really hard to kill him again.
Arya will get close, but won’t manage to murder Cersei while wearing Littlefinger’s face.
Jamie will kill Cersei.
Once Cersei is dead, the Mountain will no longer have a purpose and Clegane bowl is on! Zombie Mountain will nearly take out the Hound until he somehow overcomes his lifelong fear of fire to use some wildfire (sword dipped in the stuff?) to finally put down his zombie Bro.
Bran becomes one with the weirwood tree at Winterfell.
Loads of Northern Lords bring their sons to proposition Sansa as she’ll be Queen in the North since Jon is Targaryen and Bran is a tree. Got no idea who Sansa would pick as her 3rd husband. Maybe Gendry just to piss off Arya.
Rhaegal or whatever is a girl dragon. Will lay some eggs that no one finds until after both dragons are dead from fighting the Night King.
Warning: Full contrived guesses.
The season will kick off with a bang. The dragons will have a lovely big fight with all that visual jazz. A good portion of the cast will steadily die throughout the war in fun-filled ways. Yes, this includes Gendry.
We will have the pleasure of the following mini-stories: –
Theon will redeem himself by rescuing his sister from Uncle Bastard.
Fan service sex.
Incest babies without any obvious deformities.
Hound being the bigger man by not killing his dickhead brother.
Starks doing Stark hero things.
Littlefinger taking posthumous revenge on Arya Stark, as she dies by the hand of her scorned Mentor.
The good guys™ will have a series of minor victories until they realise they have barely made a dent against the hoard of White Walkers. They appear seemingly unstoppable. Oh dear.
Evil Doctor McGuffin (pictured) will attempt and succeed in raising his own undead army. Jamie will fruitlessly attempt to stop his sister from committing a truly evil act. Zombie Mountain will turn against Cersei on Evil Doctor McGuffin’s command. I mean, he doesn’t want to die. Sad-face Jamie will then use his makeshift undead army against the White Walkers in a daring encounter. Sad-face saves the day.
Meanwhile Samwise and Bran will confirm that you can end the White Walker menace by killing the head vampire. Bran will use his mumbling powers and he will bring balance to the force, being the direct antithesis of the Ice King. This will cost him his life and will utter the immortal line “this had to happen” or even “take good care of her”. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was a bigger, badder guy controlling the Night King… Maybe called Bob. Night Bob.
So Jon and Daenerys perish doing something truly heroic and Night Bob and White Walkers are no more. Boo-hoo sad ending. But there’s hope as their baby Son “Eddard Targaryen” will be in the care of kindly pissed up uncle Tyrion… Or maybe even Unkie Jorah “Sir FriendZone” Mormont.
If they show elderly Tyrion / Samwell reciting the great story to Eddard Jnr, I demand a present from someone. Closes book, ruffles hair “… and thus endeth the Game of all that Thrones”, cue chuckle and opening credits music; but at the end!
Winter won’t be coming again as the day, has indeed, been saved. That an’ global warming.
Do you have any predictions?
Really… nothing? Ok, who do you think will be on the Iron Throne in the end?
… Cheers for that.
Bran awakes in an unfamiliar place. He looks around him, and all he can see is a sea of lukewarm white liquid which he’s submerged in. In the distance he sees giant white walls no matter which direction he looks. It’s a sea of white. Sterile, unwelcoming and stark, much like himself.
His mind batters on the doors of his memory, threatening to smash them in for those precious thoughts. He knows it’s not the wall because it looks nothing like it, but he’s lived such a sheltered life, it’s the only thing he can think of. A bead of sweat trickles down his face as he desperately tries to remember how or what he was doing there. He desperately tries to push the ever-pervasive thought of naked wildlings with tentacles out and concentrate on the matter at hand. Oh if only he’d paid attention at Hogwarts.
He flips open his phone and checks his Uber account.
“No unaccounted for journeys, how bizarre.”
The phrase causes the song How Bizarre by OMC to flip through his head, distracting him.
Just as he’s about to close the app, humming the “oooh baby” bit, he glances up to the top corner of the screen and notices his Uber rating is a paltry 4.74. A flash of hurt overwhelms him as his memory scans his past journeys, trying to think how he could have been wronged like this. Inexplicably it upset him more than when he’d found out most of his relatives had died, meaning that he was unlikely to get another Christmas present ever again. He never said yes to the water, made great small talk (even when the driver got a little racist), yet here he was, a borderline pariah in the ride-sharing dictatorship.
Pushing the thought from his mind, he remembers that he had no idea where he is and needs to do something urgently. The skin on his hands shrivels a bit like it does when you spend too long in the water, and being unfamiliar with most of life’s experiences, the sensation terrifies him. Suddenly he becomes distracted by a crumb on his top, wondering whether it was an old booger or perhaps some leftover from an earlier meal, he holds it up to try and decide whether or not to chow down on the micro mystery. As he holds it there, the light above him suddenly becomes eclipsed by an odd shaped giant silver behemoth in the sky. The sheer sight and scale of the implement causes him to wet himself instantly, the warm liquid giving a short-term feeling of comfort but in the knowledge that he’ll likely end up with more of a nappy rash than usual. Luckily the white liquid quickly dilutes it away from his body. He wishes Hodor was still here so he could blame him. Oh Hodor, why were you such a prick.
One thing becomes crystal clear in his mind. This isn’t going to help with his Uber rating.
He looks up again at the silver monster and makes a stark realisation (like his surname, which is also Stark).
It’s coming closer. It’s coming towards him.
Panic kicks in as he desperately tries to doggy paddle away, to move out of the path of the impending doom before him. His arms splash like he’s never splashed before, more urine and now faeces escaping from his body, polluting the liquid around him, resulting in it turning a shade of beige. His fear is so strong that he becomes desperate and feral in his ideas, removing his clothing in a futile attempt to reduce his weight and to move away from the path of the sky monster. The death tool makes no sound as it slowly moves directly towards him, never revealing its intentions, so heartless in its motion. Only his splashing causes any noise in this arena of misfortune. Much like George R. R. Martin loves, this scene gets dragged out for a good thirty minutes, flashing between Bran, the sky monster and his floaters with quick rotation. The soundtrack is basically an orchestra who’ve been told “go bananas guys, just go bananas, ha ha ha, you know what I mean, god I am so tired” by a man wearing a tartan suit.
Then the camera zooms right into Bran’s face as he suddenly realises what’s going on. During the zoom, it makes that sub-bass sound which you get in film trailers.
Silence as the camera hovers on his now still face.
“Bran. My name. My name is bran. I am a bran flake. I’m in a bowl of cereal.”
The camera zooms out with great use of CGI to a breakfast table where a fat man in a suit scoops up the last bran flake in his bowl with his spoon and shovels it into his mouth, chewing on it with his maw open. Leaning back having finished his breakfast, he turns to face the camera and gives a cheeky wink before getting up and walking out of the room.
Cue credits, all words are in German, instead of the regular theme tune, Herb Aplert’s Spanish Flea plays instead.
The credits move to the left leaving the right-hand side of the screen showing a blooper reel.
It goes on for 24 minutes.