Rogue One: A Star Wars Story – Spoiler Free

A Star Wars sub-header

Could Rogue One be the New Hope we’re looking for?

Didn’t like that line? Get used to it… That’s the level of dialogue to be expected from this new Star Wars film.

Sometimes you’ll hear a nice thing about a film… Then a few more nice things. Before you realise it, you’ve resigned yourself to a trip to the cinema. Hopes aren’t overly raised. Prequels are pretty flawed films from the get-go. Still, let’s hope we are taken on a nice journey.

Let’s have a very brief chat about that new Star Wars.

Rogue One feels like traditional Star Wars, even without back-flips and lightsaber battles. This is how you should do a prequel. If you had to do one, for money.

I enjoyed this film.

A Star Wars Story: Crappy Title innit

Hey Gang!

The story does a great job at slotting directly behind the original Star Wars: A New Hope. It does a poor job with logic. What i’m saying is don’t peek too hard. You’ll likely fall through the plot holes. Never peek.

My biggest annoyance in lavish, big-budget films like Rogue One? They spend so much time trying to get the big story beats right, it boggles my mind when the little, obvious story chunks are conveniently tossed aside.  Mostly for a cinematic moment… It never works. Everyone in the cinema looks at each other in disbelief as the bad guys hold fire for a tender moment. It breaks the flow and could easily been avoided with a modicum of basic thought. It’s maddening.

K2 S0

Comedy relief robot – Not bad.

It’s not free from cliché, then again. It is Star Wars.

You can’t get through a prequel without gratuitous cameo callbacks. I’m happy to report I wasn’t offended and were mostly essential to the time period. I said mostly. They capture the feel of the original films perfectly.

Some of the technology used in the film’s not quite there. You’ll know exactly what I’m talking about after you’ve seen it. Thankfully we are spared from Yoda slowly explaining how and why a forthcoming sexy lightsaber battle will be appearing, for the audiences pleasure.

KOTOR

The best naughty Star Wars robot

Rogue One feels like they’ve discretely nabbed ideas from the now defunct Star Wars Expanded Universe. Not the worst place for inspiration but there is a tinge of “been here before” about it, beyond the fact that it’s a prequel.

I bet the incoming cartoons and comics take the Rogue One individuals on interesting adventures.

Has film given up? Film’s content to siphon off character and depth to other mediums. How did that happen? Let’s take a wild guess. When you’ve got a 30 minute light-show crammed in at the end of a film, this severely impacts the time you have for character moments. It would take a brave producer to sanction the removal of the long gaudy fight ending. Whizz-bang, yeah.

Star Wars: The Quest For More Money. Brought to us from a place of no artistic value, churned out to recoup the Disney purchase. You can see the callous money making machine behind it, that’s not new. You can also see the artistic talent of the people forced to bring this into the world. Doing the very best they can. They almost paper over the cynical premise, they deserve awards.

I think they did a wonderful job.

I enjoyed this film. 

Yoghert Spaceballs

“Spaceballs 2: A Star Wars Story”