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Behold the Kickmen

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Hot News Update: Man makes computer game of the sporting variety. 

I can’t think of a better way to describe the game then copy and pasting the Steam blurb. No, it’s not lazy! How dare you for thinking such a thing.

BEHOLD THE KICKMEN is a football game made by someone who has no understanding of, or interest in, what is affectionately known as “The Wonderful Game”. Start at the bottom of the Big Boring Football Spreadsheet and grind your way up to become the best at the football anyone’s ever seen.

The other, most important thing to keep in mind is the cheap, cheap price of £2.51? Gee-whizz!

Behold the Kickmen Warning

I do enjoy a good warning screen.

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Bris Funny Fest

Running A Festival In A Foreign Country

I’d always wanted to live abroad. Technically moving to London, England was living abroad after being raised in Bridgend, Wales but only a total prick would actually speak those words out loud. Sure I’d been on lots of holidays, but my FOMO was real when it came to my peers who had gone ‘travelling’, talking of their experiences as being on some sort of higher plane than my mere taster of foreign cultures. Whilst I never had the courage to take the financial leap into the red to hop on a train and discover myself, I couldn’t help feeling like I was going to regret the decision in my later life.

Fast forward more years than I’d like to admit, and I now live in Brisbane, the one in Australia. Over time I postured that even those who went travelling never really got to see a place, never got to understand the positives, negatives and tedium that a place can offer. I wanted to be taken out of my comfort zone with my close-knit group of friends and try and find my place in a city on the opposite side of the planet which I’d never been to before. Living in London saw tourists galore, and people who were there for a summer or a few months, people who barely got to scratch the surface of what living there was truly like. Life isn’t all about great experiences, it’s about everything from a good night out to filing taxes, you need to experience the bad to appreciate the good. I had a chip on my shoulder that I needed to get chiselled off one way or another. My then-girlfriend now-wife was a huge inspiration to making it a reality, having lived in multiple countries of her own volition since she was a teenager. After she got the job offer in Brisbane, we decided to go for it. Meanwhile, I tried to appear as though I was assured of our decision while inwardly panicking that I was making a huge mistake.

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Fast RMX

SHORT REVIEW: NINTENDO SWITCH

F-Wipeout Neo Superfast Racing Game: The GAME.

Fast RMX makes for a damn fine first purchase. For a start it’s a full game at the right price. Naturally, I didn’t really play it, as I’d also bought the more expensive Mario Kart. That’s the kinda game it is. Naturally ignorable.

Let’s put it in the spotlight.

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hollywood

Hollywood: Rumours! Rumours we say!

You simply won’t BELIEVE number 5!!! if you do, i’ll find you. and kill you.EXCLUSIVE

Secret scoops about all your favourite Hollywood celebs!

Wow! What have you uncovered this time? I said get on with it you pleb!

WOW! For earlier scoops, click here and maybe… Here. It doesn’t matter. It’s a pack of lies.

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Twin Peaks: Episode 8 – Cosy Spoiler Chat

The most visual. The most confusing. The most Lynch episode. So far, my favourite episode of Twin Peaks.

I seldom gossip about on-going television shows. It’s all rabid speculation until the series comes to a conclusion and the threads are woven together; if at all. This episode of Twin Peaks was different. I felt compelled to speak about it. I suspect it has had that effect on a lot of people.

Warning: The following article will enter spoiler-valley. So let’s assume you’ve kept up to date on the series, heard of a black lodge and you’re as excited as I am.

Away we go!

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Phoenix Point: That time we chucked up a youtube clip

Bloody hell I hate adverts.

I’m glad you’ve noticed that you haven’t had to tolerate a cacophony of brightly-coloured shitty flash adverts clogging up the site. Sorry in advance for the unskippable advert on the following video.

More to the point, I’m excited about a game! The chap that created the original X-Com has turned to crowdfunding kickstarer-alike Fig to create his true successor. Lovely.

Would you like to click more?

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Bulb Boy comes to the Switch

Wait, I thought Nintendo were only going to concentrate on new games?

They did say that right? Well, I guess this is the first time Bulb Boy’s left the safety of PC-land to console valley.

Now, I’m not saying I had any influence on one of the biggest companies in the world, renowned for doing their own thing, often with baffling result; but I did say Bulb Boy would be most excellent on a phone an’ that’.

Hey, would be nice if they brought over a Towerfall, Black and White Bushido, or some other excellent single-screen local multiplayer titles to a multiplayer handheld.

Anyways, you can read my Bulb Boy pc review here. If you’re in the mood. It’s pretty short.

No… I won’t force you to click more. You can look at the Switch trailer below.

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endless space 2

Endless Space 2: Not a review

Endless Space is a 4x space strategy nerd game. I’ll resurrect my quote from my Stellaris review.

Why, it’s a nerd game in which you do a Star Trek. You start with a single planet and attempt to best rival civilisations to take over the galaxy. Hopefully to the soundtrack of an 80’s montage sequence. You’re the best, AROUND!

The first game had interesting races, smooth presentation and was very easy to negotiate.

Yes, I liked it a lot. Now that Stellaris is out the way, I’m very much looking forward to taking over the galaxy again. Always with the taking over the galaxy. Every few weeks. I can’t help it.

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The Sexy Brutale

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VERSION

Nearly unlocked a platinum trophy by mistake? Blimey, I’ve played this game to death.

You wake to the same murder rich Saturday in the fantastical hotel known as The Sexy Brutale. You’ll find yourself tracking fellow guests attempting to influence their macabre fates. To stop direct meddling the guests masquerade masks angrily come to life, requiring you to keep your distance. To combat this you’ll need to peak through doors an’ prick your ears, just like you do in real life, every weekend.

Beyond the games many, many achievements I’m going to concentrate on its technical shortcomings, as I’m a total and utter bastard.

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Rimworld gets an update – Alpha 17

Oh Rimworld. It’s the game that keeps giving.

Not so long ago we wrote a fantastical and utterly accurate diary and even scribbled down an early access review. So I hope that gives you an indication of how much life it ate.

So please enjoy this video. Or if you’re not in the mood to watch a 20 minute vid, please enjoy a summing up after the break.

Break