Not Review

Or is IT! Answer: It’s not.

Mad Max

The inability to play a Mad Max

It sits in the pile, a fine game indeed. I cannot get up, cannot plug in. Time passes, i relent, I click Rocket League again.

Mad Max, is an open world game with exciting car chases, wandering and meaty combat. 

Purchased at the beginning at the year I acquired Mad Max and immediately slogged through the early story missions. Taking time to fanny around the sand dunes in Max’s car, much enjoyment was had. After a few days of play I didn’t return. So how did I managed to play everything else in my collection but Mad Max?

How does that happen?

Let’s evaluate my poor tired brain

empire

Empire – Typical episode review.

The Scene: A tacky penthouse adorned with cheap props.

Enter Lucious Lyon mumbling, scratching and complaining. He acts and looks like an early 90’s tough gangster type. For no reason whatsoever he sits at the piano and breaks out in song. He sounds closer to Stevie Wonder, instantly breaking the tough gangster illusion the show so desperately craves.

The song is heartfelt tale about his troubled childhood and scotch eggs.

(more…)

luther-season-3-poster

Luther

TELEVISION NOT REVIEW: SEASON 1, 2, 3 & 4 plus Halloween AND xmas SPECIALS

It’s incredibly difficult to put my feelings for Luther into words. It’s a great show, not because of the script, that’s mostly tosh, but the acting performances are exemplary. 

Luther is an obsessive no-nonsense police detective, shaking filing cabinets with pure man rage.

A comprehensive review follows.

saltandsanctuary

Salt and Sanctuary

salt 2

Salt and Sanct, take the freshness back.

SHORT NOT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Originally released on the PS4 to warm criticism, the pc community now have the privilege to see what the fuss is about, if so inclined.

Salt and Sanctuary is a tough side scrolling adventure with deliberate mechanics, rewarding precise attacks and a nimble defence. A punishing stamina gauge tests your willpower whilst exotic and varied weaponry and items help keep potential death at bay. The lush and beautifully engineered world betrays treacherous intent, as you scramble through unseen paths, scale stunning 2D architecture slickly introducing witty shortcuts, raising an eyebrow as the masterful circular design reveals itself for an appreciative audience nods.

The elegant art design mirrors a satisfying journey through a startling world filled with charismatic enemies, willing and able, to cut you down at a moments notice. All of this culminates in weighty boss battles demanding your full attention.

An incredibly short synopsis to follow

uncharted 4

Uncharted 4: The Thief’s Big Parsnip

uncharted 4 yeah

Dynamic Duo! Terrible Twosome! Pair of Thieving Cunts!

SHORT FAKE REVIEW: PS4 VERSION

Please sit down in an oversized cozy chair as I regale you with some affable lies. YES! We shall review Uncharted 4 without playing it.

No, I didn’t manage to get a stolen copy, nice work crooks. Anyway, lets predict the gaming media’s reviews!

Uncharted 4: A Thimbles End begins with an bombastic intro. Taking cues from all your favourite Hollywood films, it explodes on screen with exciting set pieces and some climbing that you cannot fail.  (more…)