Steven Seagal

Iwillsavetheenvironmentwithmyfists
*Squint*

hollywood

Hollywood: Rumours! Rumours we say!

You simply won’t BELIEVE number 5!!! if you do, i’ll find you. and kill you.EXCLUSIVE

Secret scoops about all your favourite Hollywood celebs!

Wow! What have you uncovered this time? I said get on with it you pleb!

WOW! For earlier scoops, click here and maybe… Here. It doesn’t matter. It’s all a pack of lies.

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A Review of every Steven Seagal movie ever

Scene – A very bland apartment block, not cheap, not expensive. Paper thin walls. Nice area, excellent travel connections and a school nearby if you’re planning to have kids.

Block of Cheddar enters the room at in incredibly slow pace. Squinting it surveys the room, mumbles a quip and flicks his ponytail. No really, I have no idea what the quip was, sounded like “iwillbruiseyouenvironmentmustbesavedbusinessisbad”.

Block of Cheddar is ‘at one with the earth’ because he’s a Native Indian, or Japanese or something, something, honour, that’s not made clear. Being Honourable also means he doesn’t really have to speak or be interesting.

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