Virtual Reality

Welcome to the Future. If your future includes waving your arms around like a nob

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Mainstream Press Do Thing with VR

Guardian Headline – I tried to work all day in a VR headset and it was horrible.

Our Heading –  The No Shit Award!

Or even…

I absolutely love it when a wanker, wanks into a hairdryer and complains his balls are burnt.

“I persuaded my editor to let me give it a go, doing a day’s work living in a virtual world created by the Oculus Rift.”

Wait, why does this article bother me so much?

I”ll explain why. Hooray!

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Fruit Ninja VR

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Ninjas come in many guises. This Ninja is a fruit Ninja. This Ninja is very silly. 

Blah, Blah Blah, words. Just have a looksie…

It’s the same ol’ Fruit Ninja cluttering up your phone, jazzed up and re-purposed for your VR pleasure.

We ask the important question… Does it work?

Swish

Driveclub VR

Driveclub VR

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

How many times can you say “It’s amazing sitting in this thing”, before a well deserved slap finds my face. Oh hum. 

I can save you some time here. If you’ve already read the EVE: Valkyrie review, replace the word “spaceship” with “car”, jump to the score and nod approvingly.

Regardless I’ll try to keep it brief. These VR reviews are starting to congeal into a brown pool of review goo with the word immersive stuck in the top. Bit like the flake in an ice cream. An immersive flake.

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O! My Genesis

O! My Genesis

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Wait? I get to play God for £2.49? Seriously? Count me in. Hang on one second, what am I purchasing here? Why is it so incredibly cheap?

O! My Genesis consists of a tutorial and one level. O! That price makes sense. If the concept of a paid demo bothers you, this isn’t the purchase for you. Not even at the price of a luxury sandwich.

God games are tailor-made for Virtual Reality, but is a single level of O! My Genesis enough?

is it?

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EVE: Valkyrie

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Interesting fact: Casually remark to a friend that seldom plays computer games “Hey, would you like to fly a spaceship?” the majority will say “no”. What is the world coming to!

Hey you, yes you! Would you like to fly a spaceship?

Of course it’s a yes!

EVE: Valkyrie is the first proper full priced VR game I’ve acquired. Is it worth such considerable expense or is this just another short “experience”?

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Headmaster

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

I can confirm Headmaster is not a product intent on removing dead skin from your scalp.

Heading a football coming at you at pace has the potential to hurt. Luckily, within the world of virtual reality you can’t feel pain, yet.

An entire game based upon the concept of letting a football bounce off your head sounds like a great way to test Sony’s fancy-pants technology.

Where do we start then?

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Carnival Games VR

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Carnival Games VR practically screams 7 out of 10 doesn’t it.

Myself and Joey Joey Jo plan to enjoy a selection of mini-games designed to show off your shiny new VR experience.

We shall review each game individually, check to see if the technology works and ask the most important question, “is it any fun?”

Is it, punk?

Playstation VR

Playstation VR Demo Disc

SHORT REVIEW – FROM THE TOUCHLINE – PS VR

Welcome to today’s game, Aldershot Town Vs Haberdashery FC

Kick off 3pm. Referee: Mr Tommy Squeaker.

“So Faulstinho Di Trickyshit, you’ve an incredible disposable income. You must have tried the ol’ Virtual Reality right?

“Put a fucky headset on my fucky head right? Yeah mate, I done all that. Messed my hair right up”

“Wow Faulstino, what a life, your hair looks great! Tell me more!” Kick off

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Batman: Arkham VR

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Who are you? Batman. No, really. I am him. 

The wonderful thing about most VR games is that they’re piss-easy to review, as you’ve finished them by the time you finished reading this.

So the ultimate question is…

… Is Batman: Arkham VR worth your money?

Also, how the hell do you give it a score?

Welcome to an exceedingly short review to match the length of the game.

ZOK!

Let’s gets excited for VR!

Who doesn’t like lists? Who enjoys randomised pointless conjecture regarding Virtual Reality? I do!

With Playstation VR primed for the general public, here’s a selection of game ideas I’ve been desperate to play.

Where are the trailblazing Miyamotos of the VR world? Where are the pioneers giving us experiences we simply cannot imagine? Standing about in a cave or waving a sword around is a cool tech demo, but not exactly a proper game I’ll return to again and again. New technology, same ol’ ideas. Give it time, they will come.

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Mmmm, yes, that’s is very good VR.

Here’s the top 5 games I would love to play in Virtual Reality.

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Terribly Nice Gamer

Growing up in the Future

Thanks servers, nice one internet. Now we can’t forget any of the things. No-one can. It’s logged somewhere. This is the future, sunshine.

We’ve grown up in era that records time differently to any other. We are our own surveillance system. The keyboard’s mightier then the pen! Unless there’s a power cut. Of course, we are not the first to witness life changing technology but we are the coolest and most rad, because we can tell everyone, IN CAPS, directly to one another.

Reminds me. I must ask my parents what it was like growing up with the introduction of the magic moving picture boxes. The very same boxes we carry around in our pockets and strap to our eyeballs to enter. We are living in Willy Wonka times.

willy wonka

Technology’s great isn’t it!

What’s it like growing up with computer games and more importantly, what’s next?

No really…