Virtual Reality

Welcome to the Future. If your future includes waving your arms around like a nob

BBC Sport VR world cup

World Cup in Virtual Reality

The Egypt Vs Uruguay game’s dull enough for me to write this entire article. Suarez just missed a sitter.

Lounging around a swanky Virtual Box watching a football game sounds like a pretty good idea, right? Plus it’s completely free to try out.

All you need to do is to look up the BBC Sport VR: FIFA World Cup on the PS store and hit download. I suggest you go try it now.

My job here is done.

C’mon, you don’t really need an opinion on it. Shoo! You can try it out now…. for free.

Oh, you’re at work? You don’t have Virtual Reality? Fine, come on in and I’ll tell you wot I think but you owe me a beer.

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Wipeout Omega VR

Wipeout: Omega Collection – Short Review: PS4 VR Version

Spewout: Regurgitate Collection

The Omega collection throws together the most recent Wipeout games into one handy remastered package. Nice. Originally released on the 7th of June 2017 a free update has given us Virtual Reality across all modes. Normally they charge a fiver for the privilege, so this is a welcome surprise.

Wipeout Omega lap

Whilst racing at 300 mph I often stop to look at the clouds.

Welcome to the descriptive part of the introduction. Everyone with the nost basic knowledge of a Wipeout can skip directly to the article … now!

HAH! I lied. Those arrogant readers, skipping over the introduction. Just who do they think they are? I’ll let you into a secret. Wipeout is a killer app for a certain type of person. Or for 20 minutes, depending on ya’ stomach. For a freebie this is one of the very best virtual experiences I’ve had on the ol’ PSVR. The speed and clarity is potent. It feels like it was custom designed for VR. It’s a 9 out of 10 from me. Now you don’t need to read the rest article*. Well done.

*How dare they skip over the actual article! Can you believe them? They have no idea what makes the game great. I could have been lying about the score!

Welcome to the real Description Corner: Now with added boring.

Wipeout is a futuristic anti-grav racing game that’s been around since the original Playstation. The game emphasises speed, weapons and a pumping electronic soundtrack. People tend to forget that the original game was very harsh, as hitting the sides really screwed up ya lap times. Thankfully the games are a little more forgiving now. Arcade racing fun for all the family. Yes. All the family. Even little Jimmy… but not Jonny, the rat-bastard.

I recall that the first-person mode had the potential to induce sickness. Happy times. Wait… How does that work with VR?

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Farpoint – Short Review: PS4 VR Version

What do you mean I’ve bought another dead peripheral? No, No. Not that VR-headset thingy. People are still making games for that… *raised eyebrow*, I think…

… Oh they are. How lovely; Rick and Morty’s going to be released soon. Wait, that won’t require the use of a bloody rifle! Let us enjoy a moment of frowning before hitting Google. Let’s see what games are coming out for this shooty bang-bang device.

Farpoint pose

Careful now

18 or so games. Most of them unreleased with TBA. Oh… cough.

I have a defence, Sir. I snagged the game and gun for forty quid. Impressive, right? I’ve been impressed with the actual technology. The rifle’s a giant Move controller with analogue sticks and improved gyroscopics. I seldom found the device flicking around like the ancient Move controllers. It’s pretty stable and suitably sturdy.

Anyway, what about this Farpoint game-a-ma-thingy?

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Mainstream Press Do Thing with VR

Guardian Headline – I tried to work all day in a VR headset and it was horrible.

Alternative Heading –  The No Shit Award!

Or even…

Further Alternative Heading – I absolutely love it when a wanker wanks into a hairdryer and complains his balls are burnt.

“I persuaded my editor to let me give it a go, doing a day’s work living in a virtual world created by the Oculus Rift.” – A white gentleman with beard.

Wait, why does this article bother me so much?

I”ll explain why. Hooray!

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Fruit Ninja VR

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Ninjas come in many guises. This Ninja is a fruit Ninja. This Ninja is very silly. 

Blah, Blah Blah, words. Just have a looksie…

It’s the same ol’ Fruit Ninja cluttering up your phone, jazzed up and re-purposed for your VR pleasure.

We ask the important question… Does it work?

Swish

Driveclub VR

Driveclub VR

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

How many times can you say “It’s amazing sitting in this thing”, before a well deserved slap finds my face. Oh hum. 

I can save you some time here. If you’ve already read the EVE: Valkyrie review, replace the word “spaceship” with “car”, jump to the score and nod approvingly.

Regardless I’ll try to keep it brief. These VR reviews are starting to congeal into a brown pool of review goo with the word immersive stuck in the top. Bit like the flake in an ice cream. An immersive flake.

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O! My Genesis

O! My Genesis

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Wait? I get to play God for £2.49? Seriously? Count me in. Hang on one second, what am I purchasing here? Why is it so incredibly cheap?

O! My Genesis consists of a tutorial and one level. O! That price makes sense. If the concept of a paid demo bothers you, this isn’t the purchase for you. Not even at the price of a luxury sandwich.

God games are tailor-made for Virtual Reality, but is a single level of O! My Genesis enough?

is it?

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EVE: Valkyrie

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Interesting fact: Casually remark to a friend that seldom plays computer games “Hey, would you like to fly a spaceship?” the majority will say “no”. What is the world coming to!

Hey you, yes you! Would you like to fly a spaceship?

Of course it’s a yes!

EVE: Valkyrie is the first proper full priced VR game I’ve acquired. Is it worth such considerable expense or is this just another short “experience”?

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Headmaster

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

I can confirm Headmaster is not a product intent on removing dead skin from your scalp.

Heading a football coming at you at pace has the potential to hurt. Luckily, within the world of virtual reality you can’t feel pain, yet.

An entire game based upon the concept of letting a football bounce off your head sounds like a great way to test Sony’s fancy-pants technology.

Where do we start then?

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Playstation VR

Playstation VR Demo Disc

SHORT REVIEW – FROM THE TOUCHLINE – PS VR

Welcome to today’s game, Aldershot Town Vs Haberdashery FC

Kick off 3pm. Referee: Mr Tommy Squeaker.

“So Faulstinho Di Trickyshit, you’ve an incredible disposable income. You must have tried the ol’ Virtual Reality right?

“Put a fucky headset on my fucky head right? Yeah mate, I done all that. Messed my hair right up”

“Wow Faulstino, what a life, your hair looks great! Tell me more!” Kick off

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Batman: Arkham VR

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VR

Who are you? Batman. No, really. I am him. 

The wonderful thing about most VR games is that they’re piss-easy to review, as you’ve finished them by the time you finished reading this.

So the ultimate question is…

… Is Batman: Arkham VR worth your money?

Also, how the hell do you give it a score?

Welcome to an exceedingly short review to match the length of the game.

ZOK!

Let’s gets excited for VR!

Who doesn’t like lists? Who enjoys randomised pointless conjecture regarding Virtual Reality? I do!

With Playstation VR primed for the general public, here’s a selection of game ideas I’ve been desperate to play.

Where are the trailblazing Miyamotos of the VR world? Where are the pioneers giving us experiences we simply cannot imagine? Standing about in a cave or waving a sword around is a cool tech demo, but not exactly a proper game I’ll return to again and again. New technology, same ol’ ideas. Give it time, they will come.

vr 2

Mmmm, yes, that’s is very good VR.

Here’s the top 5 games I would love to play in Virtual Reality.

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Terribly Nice Gamer

Growing up in the Future

Thanks servers, nice one internet. Now we can’t forget any of the things. No-one can. It’s logged somewhere. This is the future, sunshine.

We’ve grown up in era that records time differently to any other. We are our own surveillance system. The keyboard’s mightier then the pen! Unless there’s a power cut. Of course, we are not the first to witness life changing technology but we are the coolest and most rad, because we can tell everyone, IN CAPS, directly to one another.

Reminds me. I must ask my parents what it was like growing up with the introduction of the magic moving picture boxes. The very same boxes we carry around in our pockets and strap to our eyeballs to enter. We are living in Willy Wonka times.

willy wonka

Technology’s great isn’t it!

What’s it like growing up with computer games and more importantly, what’s next?

No really…