Banshee – Three Season Round Up Extraordinaire

TELEVISION REVIEW

A mostly spoiler free-review of the explosive hit television show. Also with swearing because I’m pretty sure any talk of Banshee demands a liberal amount of swearing.

I loved the first two episodes back in April and have burned through season one, two and three. Impressive right?

So… Did it get better?

I was tempted to replace the entirety of this review with pictures of delicious full plates of pies. Not just any pies… Steak and booze pie with lashings of gravy and mash. No captions required. It would represent how I feel about the show far better then stupid bloody words.

Anyway, I wont go on. A brief article to follow.

Blue comments & gif additions by Joey Jo Jo

Remember Mr Jawline. Great, isn’t he? Go on, look at him there.

anthony starr

Mr Jawline. Aka – Sheriff Jawline.

ivana milicevic

Old Flame. Aka Sexy evil lady from Red Alert.

Yes; his mumbling murderous ways and sexy womanising didn’t tire throughout the series. You’ll grow to love him, as Sheriff Jawline’s been designed to provide the most amount of pleasure with the least amount of faff.

Lady approaches Sheriff, asks his name. Sheriff gruffly answers “Hood”. Lady sleeps with Sheriff. Every episode.

Wrong! Often they don’t even ask his name. Just look each other up and down, nod and head to his grimy flat.

If he had a tagline it would be ‘lets get to work’ as he pulls off his grotty sheriff underpants.

If after the first two episodes you’re a little undecided, stick with it. You’ll come to appreciate the madness. Each episode casually inserts moments other shows save for a season finale. The brutal fights match any Hollywood film, the plotlines defy logic and special fx are top notch. There’s one particular episode near the end of season 3, that pretty much remakes a classic low budget film and outdoes the modern reboot by a mile. Can you guess the film?

Deva Hopewell

Naughty Daughter

Oh yes, before I forget, if you’re reading this after the first article, I’m overjoyed to report Sheriff Jawline did have sex with his Old Flame as the mob caught up to them. I thought you said this was “spoiler-free?” That’s kind of a spoiler. Like fuckhats that’s a spoiler! If you couldn’t work that out you don’t deserve tv. In fact every prediction made internally, or as snot came shooting from my nostrils in laughter, came true. That didn’t matter. Knowing what will happen in a trashy telly show never matters, enjoying the adventure is king. True, I mean, most of the plot lines are telegraphed fairly early on. 

Things to expect in Banshee: explosions, swearing, bullet holes in every building in town that are gone by the next episode, teenagers going off the rails, hilariously gratuitous sex, impressive gun-play, very long, very bloody hand-to-hand fights, many Amish characters looking at everyone else disapprovingly.

You know revenge will be enacted, you know mistakes will be made by major characters, with hilarious consequences and your cowboy hat will fly from your head in awe as the show explodes into action.

“I’ve had my fun and that’s all that matters”

Ulrich Thomsen

Evil Amish Man Aka – Evil Niles Crane

Evil Niles Crane is an absolute joy to witness as he becomes the greatest Amish gang lord known to TV-land. His implausibly attractive niece has a story arc, but you won’t care. It doesn’t matter.  Yes, you knew she would fall into the life as an Amish criminal mastermind. We all would. Another teeny tiny spoiler. But not really. It’s obvious, yeah?

In fact, apart from PTSD I’m pretty sure no-one learns a thing. Pretty much no character growth, no standing around at the end of an episode laughing heartily after a quip. Wonderful.

Banshee is a series of ‘look at that’ moments.

For example:

LOOK AT THAT HEAD.

Suge

Local wise Barman, Ex-Con and Man with giant head.

WHAT A HEAD! WOW, LOOK AT THIS GUYS HEAD!

Chayton

A ludicrous pantomime villain with hands the size of your head. Bet you can’t wait to get to season 3 now.

BLOODY HELL, WHAT A BIG SOD HE WAS. NOW LOOK AT THAT HEAD.

Job, plot device and man with incredible head.

Job, impeccably dressed plot device and man with incredible head.

Job is a special character in the Banshee world as he’s pretty much the plot facilitator. If your story hits a snag, best call up ol’ Job. He’s like the hacker kid in every 80s movie, but with outrageous sass. He’s basically Lafayette from True Blood, but with hacking and fighting skills, which is a great shout. 

 

NOW LOOK AT THIS FUCKER!

Sin City bloke

Never trust a man in a bow tie.

As the muscle of an Amish man you’d have to be pretty special. So, why not base him on Elijah Wood in Sin City. Makes perfect sense. Whenever he takes his glasses off, you know someone is in trouble. And by trouble, I mean about to get hit really hard.

Special mention to Mr “inexplicable fighting skills when required”:

Banshee regularly says “Fuck it!” as it takes on whatever adventure it feels like telling and we completely agree. We always agree.

The overriding themes of Banshee are piracy, sex and a little bit of revenge.

Highly recommended trash.


max the sick child

Sickly Son Aka – DJ Heartstrings

Oh yeah and this guy. Or as most think of him:

THE END