Rim, Rim, Rim. Rimworld. You might be wise to read Part 1 here, or if you’re the kinky sort, a proper decent old fashioned review here.
Part one introduced us to the incredible team of Lloyd the pissed, Vix the master builder and some other guy as they began a slapdash attempt at survival in a harsh alien environment. Oh, also Gerald the monkey, don’t forget the pet monkey. They had survived a season without any serious problems and now we ask the question.
12th of Spring 5500.
A roof over your head, a decent meal and a watertight bed makes for a happy camp.
Lloyd had since recovered from vicious doe wounds and had not been deterred from his strong love of animals. Away he goes, exploring the far flung corners of the map, taming the wild animals populating this brave new world. Night falls, Lloyd returns home to find Gerald the monkey sleeping in his own vomit outside the shelter. Lloyds new best friend “the Turkey” stole the sleeping spot at the end of Lloyds bed.
Whilst Lloyd partook in mild animal abuse the others had been busy making an excellent kitchen, complete with bloody butchery table. Much pride was displayed as the first meals had been cooked from the brand new electric stove.
The electric stove broke down. It lasted a single day. Shoddy workmanship from Scott who insisted on putting it together. A mental note is made to never let him make important things ever again.
Vix refuses to clean up, fair enough as she built the generator and everything else required not to die in the wilderness. Unfortunately Lloyd and Scott feel the same way, so the puke lies unattended on the floor. It appears Gerald the fantastic monkey had a tummy bug.
Stability brings the question.. what now?
Getting Vix to work of course. Everyone’s grumbling about a lack of privacy so Vix grits her teeth and gets ready to extended the makeshift house… with hands on hips she takes a sharp intake of air, as she decided to make an additional spare room for her troubles.
Lloyd and Scott immediately piss off at top speed. For unknowable reasons Lloyd requires a Turkey army, whilst Scott resigns himself to hauling goods around, before deciding to take up the exciting pastime of hunting. A Megatherium is a gigantic elephant sized ground sloth. Scott licks his lips, grabs his rifle and makes an action hero quip… probably. I mean it is me, I’d do that, I know I would. Him; that bloke in the game, he’s not really me, is he. I wouldn’t have fucked up that electric stove; real me wouldn’t have even tried. Boom! While hunting the prehistoric sloth a boomrat got hit by a stray bullet. A boomrat is true to its name and does explode causing a fiery hellscape, scaring the pants out of Lloyd.
Bloody hell, Vix just noticed that none of the lights are working? C’mon guys, I’m trying to build you guys a luxury extension here. Oh wait, one of the power lines blew for no reason at all, we all thought the explosive racket was the dying calls of Boomrat, but nope, once again it was the questionable workmanship of a few certain people.
With a flick of his trusty sword, the mighty hero known as Lloyd makes short work of the evil man eating raccoon that had decided to end all humans. That was a close call. Good work Lloyd.
The lazy days allow for pet projects as Scott decides to put together a pot plant. he toils away, for hours on end as Vix walks in the room, sighs and instantly produces the perfect pot plant in front of Scott’s very eyes. She has already left the room as Scott blinks in disbelief. Yeah, nice one Scott.
Forget pot plants, It’s time for a big project.
LETS BUILD A BARN!
Ok, that’s not true. We decided to build a workshop and research lab, because that sounds way more fun. The animal barn can come later.
A cry for help! Action! What shall we do? Mei the Ninja Assassin requests shelter as she escapes her ex-friends or captors. A decision is made. We need someone to wash up and we agree to help. Mei enters the scene at top speed, just who the hell is she running from?
A single bloke with an incredibly crappy club. Some assassin she is. He was no match for Vix and Scott’s impressive hunting guns, two shots to the gut and the aggressor in a tatty loin cloth is down. The assailant was named “Tiger” and we had to decide what to do with his remains. After much thought the decision was made that we couldn’t be arsed digging a hole in the ground, so we decided the best course of action was to haul him behind some rocks. That seems like a proper tribute to Tiger, the pathetic, lazy, teetotaller warrior in rags, waving a stick in anger. Rest in peace sweet prince.
Welcome Mei the Ninja.
Mei is an expert in murder, hauling things around the place and cleaning blood off the walls. This dry monkey puke won’t clean itself. She’ll fit right into the tiny guestroom. Hah, bet she’s happy to have escaped to our disgusting camp.
Blimey, it’s 39 degrees in the hovel we call home! Bloody hell, I do believe that’s quite hot! OK, lets put some vents in. They kinda worked I guess… lets see how cool it gets at sleepy time. The odds are I’ll forget, someone should remind me later.
So the fridge is full, the buildings secure, everyone’s happy. The research room is complete. Scott immediately decides it’s time to research what caused this situation in the first place. A brewery.
Lloyd took a minute of his day to admire Vix art… a wooden dining chair. Oh yes, Vix really is the master when a crummy ol’ wooden chair is considered art.
Off they go to bed and I believe it’s time for you to tuck in too. Goodnight reader.