SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION
I didn’t play Postal the first time round but I do have vague memories of the media nonsense surrounding it. Why… It was a very long time ago now.
I had to look it up, how the hell would I remember any of this? Bloody hell, was originally released in 1997. Now we have the Redux released a couple of days ago.
Has Father Time been kind to Postal?
Oh hell no.
Not by today’s standards.
Postal generously coughs up a campaign and rampage mode. The goal in both modes? Shoot everything. Yes, even Mr Tim Norris your kindly neighbour.
Or to be more accurate, you star as the main character lovingly named Mr Postal Dude. Mr Postal Dude skates across isometric environments, in a moderately disconnected way, firing feather light guns until you’ve killed enough humans to move on to the next area. We’ve been given a strange button that appears to make Postal Dude squat in a manner that suggest he’s doing a poo poo. I think it might be a dodge button. When not slip-sliding around the screen, you can very slowly wind your arm up, to throw the most pathetic grenades ever seen in a computer game.
Without the context of the historical backlash, the game’s a bit of ol’ nothing really. How many twin stick shooters do “this” better? Plenty at this point.
The media can fuck off can’t they? It was them that elevated Postal to notoriety in the first place. Sad mass murderer simulator Hatred pulled the exact same trick 18 years later. Controversy pays, son. That precious media coverage could have been used to promote a Wadjet Eye game or something. Will they never learn.
You could play Dead Nation, Enter the Gungeon, Helldivers, The Deadly Tower of Monsters, Smash TV, anything else. ANYTHING else.
It’s crap, yeah. You can argue its place in history, but as a game re-released in 2016 it’s utter shit. Cannon Fodder released 4 years before Postal. Redux that, dammit.
Too harsh a score? Mr score guide will explain all.