Everybody’s Golf

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VERSION

The first review of the year is a bloody golf game? What the hell is wrong with you? I was talking to myself, but… if you’re reading this…

Everybody’s Golf has been around since the original Playstation. Yes, that computerised device from the 90’s. Totally radicool. Welcome to the mighty backlog month.

The game is also very, very pleasant with lil tinge of disappointment. I mean, you knew that already, right?

Let me explain why… but not in song.

Cor blimey! Look at the charming on that. Oopfh. Practically oozes the stuff out of the monitor.

Everybody's Golf

Of course it’s cute and charming… it’s me! Advert paid for on behalf of “Scott for London Mayor™”.

Granted, the graphics are not exactly the sharpest and yes, every now and then the game engine has a minor wobble an’ chugs a bit. You could blame the games obsession with fielding distracting idiot AI’s wherever you turn. You see, the focus of this years edition is playing with a crowd, whether you’re online or not. Oh, why not? After all, computerised golf hasn’t really evolved much over the years.

Click to start the swing. Click to set the power. Click to slice it into the rough. You idiot.

Hey, at least we start the game in a brilliantly sparse home area. Sure it’s mostly redundant and you’ll speak to the odd NPC that chucks out a tidbit of advice, or a golf test. Hey, the games a trier.

Everybody's Golf

GET OUT MY FACE!

Standing proudly you nod and squint as you stare at the awkward lie of the ball. You idly wave a wet finger to the air, noting the strength of the wind and admire the simple stark course. “Why…this is the online life”. Before long you’ll acquire new clubs to augment your preferred playstyle and additional skills are drip-fed as you rise through the ranks. Before you know it, you’ll be attempting risky power shows with some style, oh and swerve if the mood takes your fancy. I think its called risk and rewind… no.. … erm. Retort. Reward.

Each time you smack that ball as hard as you can, your ability to twock a ball with that club improves. The same is true every time you hit a sweet shot close to the cup (or in layman’s terms – GOLF HOLE). Improvement feels organic and just right. Soon the simple courses become more troublesome and your decision making needs to improve with your character. Yes, the courses become a right pain in the arse, shocking.

Everybody's Golf

HOT GOLF ACTION!

Reaching the next rank isn’t just a case of entering competitions and filling an experience bar. You must take on a selection of end-of-level style VS battles against a selection of bizarre (and at times lazy) caricatures. Different rules and rules and regulations keep things interesting, oh man, who doesn’t love rules and regulations and you might find it a struggle against tiny, tiny golf holes (or ‘CUP’, as its known). Everybody’s Golf does a wonderful job at keeping things fresh despite the obvious limitations of ya’ basic golf game mechanic.

As we’re on the subject of mechanics let’s talk about the online jiggery-pokery. They’ve made a real effort here. People run around taking potshots, fanny around and generally provide a pleasant none threatening distraction, as you leisurely enjoy your standard game of golf. Naturally computerised golf doesn’t really feel like a game that really requires groups of people hitting shots… but taking part in the daily competitions and wotnot is fine. It’s all fine. Not particularly interesting to me, but fine. Hey, at least you don’t have to wait for anyone’s shot. I will confess I did enjoy ‘turf war’ mode, but patience must be shown when waiting for the appropriate amount of people to start a game. You break into two teams and run around trying to score points on each hole. This means dashing from one hole to the next and is most excellent. Also mildly stressful. Also everyone playing it is an expert. I shall never return to it.

Everybody's Golf

I am the master of the fairway. Bow beneath my superior timing,

The only acceptable time to ever wait for another players shot is if I’m in the same room as them, with a beer… shouting at them. Not being able to use your character locally from another account on the PS4 is a frustrating oversight. I want to improve my character with my mates in the same room, dammit. It’s a terrible shame as the character creation tools are excellent and throughout the game you unlock further outfits, faces, and walks. It’s endless and a waste of time as I can’t be arsed to come back to it. Listen here sunshine, I already crafted my character. Sure, I might tweak it, but I’m not going to twiddle with my avatar any further. Give me the funny walks and body types before I waste my time setting up my character. Yes, this is a pet peeve.

Everybody's Golf

What a messy, messy screen. Also.. back door? Inappropriate.

This isn’t a pet peeve… There are 3 additional courses to purchase for the sum of £3.99.. no wait.. £5.35 for the other two; to add to the 5 courses already available in  game. 5 courses… and you’ll feel like you’ve played each course over and over (and over) again before you finally rank up and you’re blessed with the next. It feels a bit bloody tight and also a bit cheeky to pay extra for a game that doesn’t exactly feel like it’s bursting with content.

I have to mention it again. None of the above bothered me half as much as those subtle engine hiccups. The most important thing I want from a golf game is a nice smooth (and sexy) power bar and having your perfect shot ruined… urgh. Anyway… On with the score!

7

An strangely addictive game that easy to put on for ya’ standard short term blast of entertainment. 

Mildly let down by a wandering focus on things that simply don’t matter.