Hey guys…
Here is a free game from one of the blokes that brought you the Stanley Parable. Not bad ‘ey.
Aren’t we all!
Will take 5 minutes of your time and is very pleasant indeed. Go on… go ahead and play Absolutely: A True Crime Story right this second.
Good day!
Once upon a time there was a magical age when videogame creators purchased licenses to completely inappropriate movies. What a time that was. As you would expect, they were fantastically terrible. Their preferred delivery system often came in the guise of a side-scrolling action shooter.
Makes the perfect Xmas present for young Timmy
A fair few stinkers have been made over the years. Here are some off the top of my head.
Decorate Fred’s fucking cave. The game.
Magical days.
What if we can bring these magical days back…?
What happens when you merge an extensive computerised wargame with a boardgame thingy called Warhammer. Ya know, that thing with Elves and Dark Elves and Elves in stetson hats.
A high fantasy computer game… I guess. Blimey, I feel a long-ass review coming on.
Oopfh… Look at the detail on that. Image courtesy of ‘ere.
Oohh, Warhammer features vampires. Neat.
For those with little knowledge of both things, let’s sum it up. You’ve a bloody big map to spawn armies from and you’ll get to decide when to march your hard earned armies into real time battles. Rather than control a thousand individual units, they are bunched into squads. Top tip, spearman are pretty good against big fleshy horses.
Oh… I can’t actually play as a vampire clan. Only battle against them. Aw.
I appreciate the vision of the Total War games. Big sweeping epic battles. Big sweeping giant maps. Big sweeping bugs. Sometimes the visions simply too big and it crushes under it’s own weight. Regardless Total War games are nearly always interesting.
Now… how interesting is Total War: Warhammer II?
Mario’s been around for over 30 years, which means there’s 30 years of terrible introductions to each game. Here’s another.
Odyssey is a continuation of the fantastic Super Mario 3D World on the horrifically dead Wii U. It was one of my favourite Mario adventures to date and such excitement can only lead to disappointment. Let’s hope not, ‘ey.
Let’s check out the platforming action in a three dimensional environment.
A weighty car journey calls for driving music. Cannibal Ox’s the Cold Vein is a fine compliment to the road.
Please enjoy the following favourable beat.
