Foul Play
PS4 Version
Just Foul
The gift of a free game on PSN. How delightful!
Except that it’s not really free, as you had to pay for the privilege of online play in the first place. Oh well, you can’t complain can ya.
Oh, I bloody can!
Not Review
Or is IT! Answer: It’s not.
Kingdom Come: Deliverance: Not Review
PC VERSION
This isn’t a review. This is a rant.
Disclaimer: The following contains righteous harsh language and furious anger. Also a picture of a bowl of fruit.
Update – Now with additional picture show “Henry and the Great Fall”.
The inability to play a Mad Max
It sits in the pile, a fine game indeed. I cannot get up, cannot plug in. Time passes, i relent, I click Rocket League again.
Mad Max, is an open world game with exciting car chases, wandering and meaty combat.
Purchased at the beginning at the year I acquired Mad Max and immediately slogged through the early story missions. I fannied around in the sand dunes, an’ bombed around in Max’s car. Much enjoyment was had. After a few days of play I didn’t return. So how did I manage to play everything else in my collection but Mad Max?
How does that happen?
Empire – Typical episode review.
The Scene: A tacky penthouse adorned with cheap props.
Enter Lucious Lyon mumbling, scratching and complaining. He acts and looks like an early 90’s tough gangster type. For no reason whatsoever he sits at the piano and breaks out in song. He sounds closer to Stevie Wonder, instantly breaking the tough gangster illusion the show so desperately craves.
The song is heartfelt tale about his troubled childhood and scotch eggs.
Luther
TELEVISION NOT REVIEW: SEASON 1, 2, 3 & 4 plus Halloween AND xmas SPECIALS
It’s incredibly difficult to put my feelings for Luther into words. It’s a great show, not because of the script, that’s mostly tosh, but the acting performances are exemplary.
Luther is an obsessive no-nonsense police detective, shaking filing cabinets with pure man rage.
Salt and Sanctuary
Salt and Sanct, take the freshness back.
SHORT NOT REVIEW: PC VERSION
Originally released on the PS4 to warm criticism, the pc community now have the privilege to see what the fuss is about, if so inclined.
Salt and Sanctuary is a tough side scrolling adventure with deliberate mechanics, rewarding precise attacks and a nimble defence. A punishing stamina gauge tests your willpower whilst exotic and varied weaponry and items help keep potential death at bay. The lush and beautifully engineered world betrays treacherous intent, as you scramble through unseen paths, scale stunning 2D architecture slickly introducing witty shortcuts, raising an eyebrow as the masterful circular design reveals itself for an appreciative audience nods.
The elegant art design mirrors a satisfying journey through a startling world filled with charismatic enemies, willing and able, to cut you down at a moments notice. All of this culminates in weighty boss battles demanding your full attention.
Uncharted 4: The Thief’s Big Parsnip
Dynamic Duo! Terrible Twosome! Pair of Thieving Cunts!
SHORT FAKE REVIEW: PS4 VERSION
Please sit down in an oversized cozy chair as I regale you with some affable lies. YES! We shall review Uncharted 4 without playing it.
No, I didn’t manage to get a stolen copy, nice work crooks. Anyway, lets predict the gaming media’s reviews!
Uncharted 4: A Thimbles End begins with an bombastic intro. Taking cues from all your favourite Hollywood films, it explodes on screen with exciting set pieces and some climbing that you cannot fail. (more…)
VR: Oculus Rift – Not Review
A GAME Noir Review
Look into my eyes, not around my eyes, into my eyes
It was around 9.45pm and the night was very dark. The clouds were acting like an aggressive nightclub bouncer to the pale moon and the wind whistled its ominous tune. Not a jaunty tune, not like a showtune like the other night. (more…)