What’s this diary thing about? How did it reach part 3? What to know more?
Are you the kind of lunatic that wants to start at the beginning? Part 1 resides here, or if you’re quite sensible and wish to start in the middle, Part 2 is here. In the mood to read a most excellent review of the game? You can check that out here.
Mei the Assassin joins the drunken survivors comprised of Vix, Lloyd and me, Scott in their wacky (they are most certainly not!) adventures in RimWorld.
A camp has been set up, food prepared and strangely, a collection of Turkeys has been gathered. Somehow no-ones died and chaos has generally been averted. It’s all been quite polite really. Well there was that time they brutally murdered a bloke called Tiger and dumped him round the back of some rubble. It’s been mostly polite.
Let’s dip into what they’ve been up to?
3rd of Summer 5500.
They don’t give you the tagline “assassin” for nothing. Our new best friend Mei is a master of the dark arts of murder-making, so we did want any sane group would do and chucked her in the tiny filthy spare room. All it needed was a “welcome” mat.
Mei quickly settles into a rhythm of cleaning blood from the shoddy wooden flooring and containing her obvious rage. On closer inspection she also specialises in dealing with animals. Speaking of which, where’s Lloyd? Oh yes, he’s out most of these days attempting to gather a Turkey army for… erm… reasons. To Lloyd’s credit he’s pretty good at it and the barn is filing up. Plentiful food supplies allow for Lloyd the Turkey Whisperer.
The team’s pretty much pottering around. Wot now?
It’s decided… Let’s build more rooms! Poor Vix.
She rolls her sleeves up, looks directly at the camera and says a quip so perfect, you’re all very impressed with her. Away she goes gathering wood and instantly creating walls. Of course Lloyd’s pissing about and Scott’s desperately attempting to figure out how to make booze. No-ones really sure what Mei the assassin’s up to, she’s always somewhere else.
Scott finally snaps and calls for a party. I’m not sure if it’s in honour of Mei, as he desperately tries to hit on Vix (no doubt at this point, covered in gravel and splinters) who rebukes him several times over. What did he expect?! No booze, no entertainment and on closer inspection, she has a deep mistrust of men. Clever girl.
After the misery of putting up with terrible chat up lines from Scott, Vix is given the day off and decides to spend her time pursuing artistic endeavours. She soon creates the wooden masterpiece “Love With Unrest”. Vix promptly (and possibly smugly) puts it in her room to admire at a later date.
The mysterious Mei has decided to muscle in on Lloyd’s turkey gig and is caught chatting up Turkeys. It doesn’t work. There’s only room for one Turkey master in this town. Lloyd’s the real deal, baby.
Sleep well young Vix…. tomorrow brings another long day of construction as we extend the fridge. It’s absolutely brimming with food. Just as the fridge’s partly dismantled the temperature skyrockets, blimey, some of the meats on the turn and we have one day left before spoiling! Cue exciting music. Lloyd’s heeds the call of action! ACTION! Let’s build this fridge quick!
“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” says an clearly irritated Vix as Lloyd very slowly walks off to eat something. I mean he was right next to a meal in the fridge and it was going to go off. After Lloyd’s eaten rancid berries outside, Vix shouts “Hey Lloyd, I’ve extended the fridge, put together the freezing unit but it needs wiring up to the generator?”.
“Sure thing!” Beams the reply, before Lloyd does the least amount of work he could possible, in that amount of time, before running off to play horseshoes in the sunshine.
Vix sighs and mutters “just where in the fuck is Scott anyway?!”. Hunched over a darkened room, cackling to himself after sitting there for days at a time, Scott continues to research the secrets of the booze. “Soon.. soon” he whispers to himself as overgrown fingernails taps the desk.
Scott blinks as the sunlight hits his eyes for the first time in days. It’s time to sow some crops. Someone should really make him a fine wicker hat… “Hey, Vix! Make me a damn hat!”. Oh… she’s not a tailor. “Hey, Lloyd! Make me a bloody hat!”. No ones making little Scott a hat. No one.
We take a break from RimWorld to speak about real world Vix watching over proceedings. She actually has a big ranting go at small computer Scott for not producing the beer research in good time. Real life Vix almost has a mini-breakdown. Back to the game.
Lloyd plants a single hops plant before walking away. This isn’t the first time. We’ve noticed that Lloyd always does a single thing and says “done it now” as he goes off for a walk. He decided to come back to carry the hops to the fridge, not the giant piles of corn and potatoes sitting in the sun for days on end. The freshly harvested hops plant. We look at the fridge… it’s pretty much fully stocked with hops plants. Bloody hell Lloyd! Scott needs to get a move on, this could get potentially getting dangerous. Lil’ Scott constantly skives off his researching duties to go harvest a single head of corn, or play chess on his own. With a little more commitment, the tribe would be drinking tasty, tasty beer already. Get on with it, Scott.
We find Mei mining at an incredibly painful pace. If she’d not out in the wilderness, shes mining as far as way as possible from the degenerate group, as possible. We can’t say we blame her.
An escape pod crash lands on the planet! It somehow contains Mei’s dad who was horrendously injured in the crash. His name is full name is Takashi Aldemar, or “Sir” for short. Perfect dad name. Our incredible heroes immediately capture him, throwing him into Mei’s room for “medical” attention. It’s not a prison, even if we designated it “prison”, put handcuffs on him with an armed guard. It’s not a prison, ok.
There, there Mei’s dad. Rest easy in our state of the art hovel.
Mei’s been relocated to Vix’s old bedroom, but only if she can persuade daddy to stay and become a functioning member of society. What an excellent addition he would make with expert medical and growing skills, plus he’s pretty smooth. I’m sure if you could zoom in, you would see he has salt and pepper hair. Every group needs a Face from the A-Team, let’s hope he survives the crash and isn’t alienated by Lloyd. Oh and didn’t mind being locked in a tiny room for his own good.
In other news, we now have booze!
That’s the end of part 3, I know. It’s not half as exciting as getting your brain destroyed by cyborgs.
Who knows, they might last the whole year… they might last till old age.. they might even last until the next big Rimworld update potentially wipes the save!
Tune in next time for the amazing camping adventures in RimmmmWwwwwwwooooorrrlllddddddddddddddddddddddd…..d……. d.
Part 4 is out now.