2nd August 2016

Party Hard

Scott Pritchard Short Game Reviews 0 Comments

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Marty Facade at Mardi Gras looking to Party Hard.

*Glasses precariously balanced on the edge of nose, whilst looking over the rim* Oh yes… a game called Party Hard you say. *Pushes glasses with index finger into correct position*. A game in which you take control of a small pixel art chap, running around a single screen clearing the party of its guests. Very well. Seems like the sort of thing you whipper-snappers would enjoy.

So how do we achieve our sensible and completely rational goals of party based murder?

With the power of computer games logic, of course. Goldfish memories, terribly lazy police and unwarranted patience. Excellent.

You wander around different parties activating that level’s differing traps and wielding your trusty nutter knife. Much like real life, if an upstanding member of society or Pokemon Go player, stumbles across a discarded body the police are contacted. Unlike real life the police swiftly stop by in a friendly fashion, were they arrange for the body’s removal. This allows for further partying without the misery of dead bodies stinking up the place. Party on police!

If the unthinkable happens and a happy-go-lucky party-goer witnesses your character slightly stabbing someone in the head, the police are contacted with an arrest warrant. The officer chases you around for a short spell before calling it a day, the more times they’re called out, the faster and more persistent they become.

That’s pretty much the game.

The levels hold traps that are very mildly randomised, to encourage repeat plays. You won’t. The semi-randomly generated level doesn’t guarantee a fun time and in some cases, it’s easier to start over, for a favourable selection of traps, rather then waste a chunk of your time on a huge remaining crowd of party goers.

Taking out the remaining party peeps is a painfully tedious experience. You can continue being a sneaky sneaky sod, picking them off one by one. Or cave in to your base lunatic desires, snapping for real as your little pixel bloke goes on a destructive murder spree. So desperate will you be to squeeze out the last drops of joy from the premise.

By this point in a level your eyes become red and twitchy, you mutter and crave an end. Just as the police officer’s at his most potent.

Having fun often leads to your arrest.

You can dance to encourage individuals to leave the dance floor in disgust. Just like you in Ibiza. You can also pick up useful aids such as poison or a bomb, which is handy for the levels whimpering end. Nice touches are all very well, but we didn’t need nice little touches. We wanted a big ol’ brassy-band of a whooping massive touch to inject some life into the mid-point of a level.

I had to confess to muting the music. It’s fine for a spell, but as the levels drag on, the music gets right on me’ tits.  Best put on your own party classics, such as this cool “Now, that’s what I call music” tape with Duran Duran.

Oh yes, very important point. There is a story and I don’t know why. Oh and there is a character selection screen you can’t use until you unlock more characters, once again encouraging further replays.

Party Hard was well worth the price of entry, as it was the princely sum of “practically bugga’ all”. It’s not a game you’ll be reminiscing about, or excitedly talking about to your mum.

Completely average game?

Yes, a completely average game… it’s not without fun moments. If you do purchase Party Hard for the price of next to nothing, you really can’t complain.

The games focus should have been on ludicrous more complicated fun traps, interesting random moments, rather then hanging around bathrooms waiting for a victim, 20 bloody times. 

---

Super Extra Review Supplement: – 

Every time I start the game I hear this musical track in my withered brain. For this reason alone this games probably 10/10… or is it? Or is it? OR IS IT?!

Recommended listening – Skip to 47 seconds for the catchy hook.