We’re Updating Our Privacy Policy

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Dear Customer,

Here at whatever-this-website-is-called we pride ourselves on excellent consumer service and our discrete data gathering and spy network. We’re writing to let you know that we’re updating our privacy policy in preparation for the EU’s General Data Protection Regulations (“GDPR”) which will go into effect on May 25th, 2018. We missed the deadline as executive legal consultant Tommy was grounded.

While the GDPR is a European law, we are taking this opportunity to clarify and apply our privacy policy to everyone, no matter where you’re located.

Here’s a quick summary of our changes:

  • We’re being more specific on how we use the information we collect, and how long we keep the data.
  • Everytime we steal data a small trumpet sound will ring from your speakers.
  • We’re being more specific about your data preferences and your data rights.
  • We’re being more specific in general forever going into minute detail over the smallest of things, until you leave this website in anger.
  • We encourage the use (and possible romantic interest) of Bots to maintain your incredibly short attention span.
  • You do not need to take any action.
  • You should take action.
  • If you do not tell everyone about us we will bombard every electronic device you own with spam. Even your smart-fridge.

We look forward to working with you in the near future.

Thanks,

Your “friends” at InpuTerror