Hey Doc, so how does this work? Want me to lie down?
Ok, great. Might as well. Where do you want me to start? Yes, the beginning, of course. Deadbolt is a side-scrolling house infiltration simulator that employs a keyboard to move and the mouse to shoot your enemies. In the head. Doc, I play a lot of games. More than I talk about on this here website. Most of the time I can’t be arsed to talk about them because I don’t feel there is anything extra to contribute. Yes. We all know God of War is good. Anyway, shall I go on?
With Deadbolt, a quick 5 minute play tells you everything there is to know about it. Hell, you can’t review something after five mins, can you doc? It’s unfair on the poor sod that poured his heart and soul into it. Anyway, have a looksie.
Indeed it does remind me of the wonderful 2013 puzzle-platformer, erm, thingy-do-dah. I mention this because it ties into what I just said. I’ve played a lot of games and Deadbolt doesn’t really give me anything new. I know, it is a lazy device to reference something else, can you prescribe anything for that Doc? Inhabiting the role of a gun-toting Reaper, our man is blessed with the gift of seeing-through doors, and you’ll need the element of surprise as a single shot will end him. Deadbolt is a challenge. Taking on the undead is a mean feat and you’ll have to employ every dirty trick to fudge your way through. It’s not all about killing everything on the screen. Ok, it is mostly killing everything on the screen, but it does try to change things up. Go to the thing, pick up things, escape from the thing. Things. Hah, I guess these types of games are forever destined to become puzzle-hybrids. What else can you do with them?
Therapy-Side Note: The voices tell me to review things.
You can purchase weapons and it took me till the end of the first batch of missions before I realised I could access them from the start of the level, by opening the car boot. I thought I was unlocking weapons to find in the world. Silly me. It’s just that type of game. Do a level, turn to that TV show, turn back half-interested before knuckling down to defeat a particularly difficult level. The weapons are varied and you can only hold 2 of them. Knowing what weapon to use, in the correct situation is the bit that encourages chin stroking. No other stroking. I especially like the weighty Sledgehammer. Flicking the light switch or shooting out the bulbs feels great, having your enemies aware of your presence by recklessly shooting at inanimate object, less so. The game has a nice logical feel, especially when bashing in a zombie’s head from behind. Deadbolt has nice little moments. But it needs a big ol’ moment, or gimmick if you will. Our Reaper can flow through the vents to get the drop on enemies or even get yourself out of a bind when the hordes descend. Handy and again pushes the game further from a simple shooter to puzzle game.
Therapy-Side Note: I want to be a hippie. Over and over and over and over.
The tiny graphics are a touch too tiny for my liking, but the stylistic choice doesn’t impede gameplay. The game doesn’t really connect in any meaningful way, it’s all too standard. A tiny zombie here, a mini-vampire there. The challenge grows, you’ll stumble across a trap or new enemy (that I’ve seen elsewhere; hey there’s that large bullet-sponge bloke! Love that guy!) You’ll learn, adapt and maybe even shrug.
Is this the game’s fault or am I being terribly unfair? I don’t know. The esoteric dialogue is very pleasing and it is all decent fun. Yes, decent. The story didn’t grip you and I felt like I had to complete it as a sense of obligation, rather than entertainment. What do you want from me Doc? Don’t you dare judge me. What do you even want from such a game? It’s… erm… neat. Yes. Neat. When I look at it, I see 5 minutes well spent. Maybe that’s all that matters.
Hey Doc, what does the music mean? Oh, our time is up*? That was quick!
Wait… I didn’t mention the game’s music. I almost muted it, as I preferred to listen to Method Man, the gunshot sounds are nice though… Oh yeah I really dig the lock-picking mini-game, that is excellent. The custom levels are a nice touch as some excellent attempts have been uploaded. If you do spend a couple of quid on the game, check them out. OK, OK, I’m leaving…
… Hah, you know…. I do feel a little bit better.
A worthwhile experience if not a memorable one.
Deadbolt is good.
I shall go fit a shelving unit now and wash some socks. GOOD DAY.
*glances at invoice and permanently spits out tea until the next session.