Online Gaming: Hatred

Let’s hope the following jibber-jabber can give you’ll a small insight into why I can’t stand playing online games with people I don’t know.

Technically I should love online gaming, but it’s gone terribly wrong. People have a tremendous capacity to ruin good ideas. 

It could be any game but on this day I installed Left 4 Dead 2. By this day I meant yesterday. I hadn’t played Left 4 Dead in over 2 years and truth be told, I wasn’t very good at it in the first place.

Clicked ‘quick join’ and it did join quickly, nice. The first game I was kicked out after 27 seconds, no reason. I didn’t even have a chance to show them all how useless I really was. The second game everyone else left after I had joined. The third game my own teammate somehow made vast amounts of fire happen where I was standing and in many ways, it was apt, as I felt like a monk making a protest. I’d died before the game even had a chance to formally start. I had a few more games after that but it was enough to remind me I can’t stand playing against and with people I don’t know.


Hello boys!

Online players are mostly cunts.

I love Rocket League. I also loved supersonic acrobatic rocket-powered battle-cars. The community was much nicer. I guess that community had no choice. Barely anyone played it and it didn’t pay to alienate the few remaining players left.

Now my beloved Rocket League’s full of arseholes spamming ‘nice save’ to some poor sod that just logged in for the first time, or worse smashing into teammates or refusing to play. Even with limited communication tools people try to ruin the experience. You have to admire their ingenuity and perseverance. Maybe Rocket League works for me because the games are short and if someone’s ruining it, that’s fine, can easily to find another game. Plus it’s pretty inoffensive when people can only say ‘nice shot’ when you miss the ball.


The perfect team game. Especially without communication of any kind.

Online players are mostly cunts.

So why is this? Why do the worse traits of humanity rear its ugly head online?

Firstly, when no-one knows who you are, that frees you to be the person you really want to be.

You can’t scream filthy words, two inches from the bus drivers face, in real life without being thrown off. It’s safer to do this online. This is what I like to call ‘The cowards inner spirit’. It turns out, in the darkest pits of their hearts; humans can’t wait to be terrible people. I wonder if these people consider themselves modern day rebels, part of the online Fight Club. Throw that digital tv out the hotel room quick.

mr pink

Why do I have to be…

Classic film Reservoir Dogs had the thieves arguing about who was going to be ‘Mr Black’. No-one knew who each other was, so no one backed down. This is the internet. Everyone thinks they are Mr Black. You know who they really are.

Online players are mostly cunts.

When you’re playing friends in a local gaming environment it’s like drama class at school with like-minded people. No-one wants to judge you as everyone’s acting the fool. Most online humans appear to be playing to win, not playing to enjoy.

Every online mode should have ‘fun’ mode. A mode for people who just want to enjoy the game as a leisure activity and not a full time job; a life or death job.

Piers Morgan

This is what they look like. All of them.

Of course, it’s wrong to generalise but Online players are mostly cunts.

Handy article recap: –

  • Extreme dickory.
  • Poe-faced seriousness.
  • The birth of trolling.

Due to the prevalence of online gaming, it has had a knock on affect for something I do love.

Local gaming


Real life fun / pixel murder.

The soon to be released Ninja Turtles game boasts 4 player online co-op. Aw… that looks like the perfect split screen local co-op game, but that won’t happen. You’d rather play with strangers wouldn’t you. A small child screaming gay at you, for going in the wrong direction. Yes that’s far more preferable, then seeing your actual real life friends in the real world. What do you mean you can play with your friends online? Very well, you can, but they can’t email me a beer now can they? Sitting by myself doesn’t enrich the Nidhogg and Towerfall experience does it. Doesn’t matter anyway, the new online sensations been released, all hail the Division! Abandon ye ol ‘servers, abandon game, nothing to see here, move along.

Would have been nice if the Wii U took off and had been fully utilised. Imagine pixeljunk shooter or even Lego Marvel Superheroes with each player having a screen each. Sigh.

Anyway… Feel free to disagree with me. That’s what this websites for.