Trump: Come on in! The end of the world’s lovely at this time of year.

Sitting on the correct side of an argument afford you a special type of arrogance.  It blinds you, it’s almost as strong as a religious conviction.

How could a man like Trump be president? 

It doesn’t make any sense.

In September I was sitting in New York figuring out how to eat a sandwich the size of my head when I looked up and saw Hillary Clinton giving a speech. I’d managed to gnaw through half of it before giving up and coming to the realisation, Clinton is the antithesis of Donald Trump. The perfect candidate. Able to bring out the worst in one another. It was at that moment I realised Trump was incredibly likely to win.

She is human embodiment of the sneering political establishment, the corruption. That robotic fake smile*, the political façade, the bureaucratic dynasties, the elitism. Along comes a man called Donald who appears to be none of these things (he is!), spewing exemplary gibberish without suffering the consequences of debilitating facts. It is a masterclass in bullshit as Trump skips past conventional logic and thought, directly to twitter rants and incoherent bullet points. Cheina!

The populace are sick of a series of hand gestures posing as humans. Society has finally had enough of slick diplomats like Obama and Blair, people have felt cheated for too long. If you wanted any proof, you had plenty last night. Make ‘Merica great again!

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Not as impressive, but still dignified.

For every deal that benefits a politicians uncle, each promise that’s broken, or overseeing the greatest transfer of wealth seen this generation. Forget the sex scandals (did it affect Trumps vote?) the mistrust to the whole system has cultivated the perfect conditions for a bacterial reality-tv clown to propagate. Politics is rotten and President Trump is the symptom.

Why do you think so many humans didn’t vote in one of the most contentious political debates in our era? Fuck you have to be jaded with the system. The two party system is broken when you’ve got the choice between a woman who appears to represent big business and a businessman. If your vote didn’t matter now, then it never will. I will be so great! 

An idiot underdog that you can’t vote for? Fucking hell guys, have you ever seen an American film! What are you playing at!

*Hey, you! She has to smile like that! If she doesn’t, the media will smash her for not smiling, saying she’s miserable an’ that. My answer to that is fuck off. Did smiling work out for her? Trivial nonsense. The media are as much to blame, for not empowering the population with cold hard facts.



Now, you don’t want to hear it, but there are some good points to President Trump.

It completely legitimises Black Lives Matter as Trump inspired the KKK to vote for him. Trump could inadvertently bring about the kinda change the country needs; by mistake. Over to you people.

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Glorious Hair

If Obama couldn’t get a handle on the gun problem or close an illegal prison formally known as Quantanamo bay, what chance does Trump have pushing through of any his slapdash gibberish policies?

  • I WANT TO PUT EVERY BROWN PERSON ON A LIST! – Erm, I really hope not. I’m really worried about this one.

Lastly I’m sick of world leaders aspiring to be “Mentats”, or the equivalent of infallible smarmy human-supercomputers. Trump quite rightly said “he doesn’t need to know everything” and apart from the fact that he’s incapable of acting like he knows everything, Trump’s correct. Humans are not super computers, it’s ok to admit you don’t yet know something, and to check it out later, or consult an expert. What’s the point of special advisers if they’re just there to look pretty (Watch it – Bill Clinton). Making bold claims to the world without basic research and an unbending viewpoint is completely insane and yet we take most politicians default positions for granted. How many protest votes must we suffer before it’s no longer considered a protest vote? This is as much about the partisan political system then its figurehead.

One of my favourite stories I’d heard about the American inhabitants is when local government imported the grand idea of speed bumps. What did they do? They didn’t agree to having them in the first place, so they dug the bastard things up and said “no way”. You’ve got to respect that. I’ll be interested to see how many speed bumps Trump attempts to put down. Hey, you ever tried serving an American the wrong drink…

There are hundreds of points to make… What hasn’t been said already? We’ve plenty to mull over whilst we weep deep into the night, as humanity finally connects to one another and shorts circuits on a mass scale.

I’ve always hated the term Post-Truth. Let’s just call it what it is: –

Welcome to the era of lying bullshit-artists.