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Pro Evolution Soccer 2017: Demo

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I absolutely loved Pro 2016. Why, that was a vintage year. So let’s gently vibrate at the correct levels of excitement for the new fancy demo.

In short, the PES2017 demo is very good. Players seem more responsive and manoeuvrable. Hey, take a look at this in my second game.

For an optimum viewing experience, please sneak a look on your work computer, when everyone’s turned away for that split second. For some reason it’s a jerky mess on a mobile.

Pro 2017 keeper

Good isn’t it! Wanna see it from another angle? Wanna read a real life review with words an that, you can click here?

just another giff here

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Camping adventures in Rimworld: Part 3

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What’s this diary thing about? How did it reach part 3? What to know more? 

Are you the kind of lunatic that wants to start at the beginning? Part 1 resides here, or if you’re quite sensible and wish to start in the middle, Part 2 is here.  In the mood to read a most excellent review of the game? You can check that out here.

Mei the Assassin joins the drunken survivors comprised of Vix, Lloyd and me, Scott in their wacky (they are most certainly not!) adventures in RimWorld.

A camp has been set up, food prepared and strangely, a collection of Turkeys has been gathered. Somehow no-ones died and chaos has generally been averted. It’s all been quite polite really. Well there was that time they brutally murdered a bloke called Tiger and dumped him round the back of some rubble. It’s been mostly polite.

Let’s dip into what they’ve been up to?

To the campsite

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10 Things I want from No Mans Sky: Achievable download features

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Reviewing No Mans Sky was a painful process. I understood why groups of people were upset with the results and empathise with the pressures of releasing a game without all the hyped features. It would have been wise to have a friendly sit-down chat with the world, explaining what didn’t make it into the game. That might have defused the situation, even if a few pre-orders might have been cancelled.

No Mans Sky is a game few people would adore and (I suspect) a larger majority might find slightly boring. At least after the initial wonder had worn off. I happen to be one of the people that find pleasure in wandering the galaxy without much focus. This is not a game for everyone. Unfortunately marketing teams don’t care about such things.

So patches will come and new features will be added. Here’s an agreeable list of what I would love to see added to No Mans Sky in the coming months.

I WANT

Yooka-Laylee

Yooka-Laylee: Smug Kickstarting

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Kickstarting any project should come with the following warning: “You might not get jack, son”.

Yes, indeed. I was correct to throw money at Playtonic money. Shall we gloat online? Why not! Yes, that was a wise investment. Mmmmm, that feels lovely.

Wait… What if it’s a buggy release? What if it’s not released at all! What if it is released, but is a gigantic mess? What if it isn’t the spiritual successor to Banjo Kazooie!

Arghh doubt! So much doubt. Oh, look. A trailer.

Looks fine. Panic over.

There you have it. Yooka-Laylee is shaping up nicely. Nice one.

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No Mans Sky

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NO MANS REVIEW: PC VERSION

Almost certainly, some guys sky.

Could this be the biggest indie game launch known to (no) man? Years of forthy build up and delays sent the general public into meltdown. Nah, not really. It was a few loud-mouthed people typing into the internet at great pace. I’m pretty sure more sensible game enthusiasts were happy to sit back and wait for the release, but that doesn’t make much of a story.

“Sensible crowd waits patiently for games release without resorting to hyperbole”.

That doesn’t have a good ring to it.

I’ve reached a cataclysmic PC crash situation stopping further exploration, so now’s a good time to talk about…

The hotly anticipated.

Exciting.

Wait for it…..

The flying around in a spaceship for reasons game.

No Mans Sky. The computer game.

(more…)

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Bears Can’t Drift

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SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Bears (Brian) Cant Drift: The Wacky Karting game for all you crazy kids.

Once upon a time, the world of gaming was awash with cute mascot kart games. As the years tumbled away, the innocent cynical cash grab of the cute mascot racer fell from favour. In the end, only Mario Kart stood tall with competitors shrugging their shoulders with hands in pockets, smoking around a fiery dustbin.

Anyway.

Let’s check out Bears Can’t Drift… I mean its got a great name and who doesn’t like bears? I do like a neat little karting game.

beep beep

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No Mans Sky: Day One Purchaser Review

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I’m a huge fan of hype. No wait, i can explain why.

Let’s take a peak at Brian Concarman, who has decided to rush to the shop in a desperate effort to purchase a copy of No Mans Sky.

Brian has just exited his favoured shop clutching a day one copy of critical smash hit No Man’s Sky. He managed to steer clear of the reviews because of the review embargo and had no idea what he was buying because of the marketing. Blimey, look at the excitement!

Oh, he’s just got home!

Lets sneak peak into the world of Brian

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Camping adventures in Rimworld: Part 2

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Rim, Rim, Rim. Rimworld. You might be wise to read Part 1 here, or if you’re the kinky sort, a proper decent old fashioned review here.

Part one introduced us to the incredible team of Lloyd the pissed, Vix the master builder and some other guy as they began a slapdash attempt at survival in a harsh alien environment. Oh, also Gerald the monkey, don’t forget the pet monkey. They had survived a season without any serious problems and now we ask the question.

Wot next?

To the campsite

Banshee

Banshee – Three Season Round Up Extraordinaire

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TELEVISION REVIEW

A mostly spoiler free-review of the explosive hit television show. Also with swearing because I’m pretty sure any talk of Banshee demands a liberal amount of swearing.

I loved the first two episodes back in April and have burned through season one, two and three. Impressive right?

So… Did it get better?

I was tempted to replace the entirety of this review with pictures of delicious full plates of pies. Not just any pies… Steak and booze pie with lashings of gravy and mash. No captions required. It would represent how I feel about the show far better then stupid bloody words.

Anyway, I wont go on. A brief article to follow.

Blue comments & gif additions by Joey Jo Jo

Stupid bloody words

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Camping adventures in Rimworld: Part 1

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Rimworld is an unfinished group survival game I’ve spent far too much time on. A loving propa’ review is here.

In an incredible turn of events Rimworld allows you to set up your own scenarios. Joy! We can’t pass this opportunity up. Let’s see what happens when we set the game to it’s more interesting randomised settings. How will our three campers fare in the: –

“The Great Camp”

Tagline – “Three friends go on a camping adventure that will forever change their lives”.

Wot could possibly go wrong?

To the wilds!

sings on loop fi

Songs on Loop – #6

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RUN THE JEWELS – ALL Due Respect

Was tough choice between Run the Jewels and Christopher Walken saying “Pistachios” on loop over and over again, but it appears I dreamt that.

A wise man plays Run The Jewels as loudly as possible.

Especially this track.

Additional

RUN THE JEWELS – GET IT

This song was trapped in my head for a good 2 weeks in July.

Party Hard

Party Hard

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SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Marty Facade at Mardi Gras looking to Party Hard.

*Glasses precariously balanced on the edge of nose, whilst looking over the rim* Oh yes… a game called Party Hard you say. *Pushes glasses with index finger into correct position*. A game in which you take control of a small pixel art chap, running around a single screen clearing the party of its guests. Very well. Seems like the sort of thing you whipper-snappers would enjoy.

Party Hard

Hnngh, gotta Party Hard