Greedy Guns – Short Review: PC Version

Inspired by Gunstar Heroes you say? Metal Slug? A metroidvania shooter… Go on….

Oh dear Sir… I couldn’t possibly think of insulting you by explaining the above references. For those fresh to the genre, I believe in you. I believe in your ability to look things up.

Ever wanted to live your life as a red nosed mercenary, just like your favourite comedian on Red Nose day? Well now you can with Greedy Guns!

I could waffle on but I think you’ll probably know exactly what this games about with a single screenshot

Greedy Guns 3

Light shooting shenanigans.

Doesn’t that look lovely? Greedy Guns is a product of a successful 2016 Kickstarter raising the modest sum of £11,653.00. We must ignore such humble beginnings and ask the question of any game released on a computer system. Is it any good?

Let’s start with the fundamentals . The controls are pretty tight… smooth you might say. The double jump is snappy and responsive and the dodge roll is pretty snazzy. Snappy and snazzy. Shame I can’t dodge-roll from a jump for bonus cool points. The viewpoints zoomed out to a decent distance and this allows for some real sharpshootin’. Thankfully the graphics compliment the view as they are clean and concise. Nothing’s over-designed.

It is a very good start.

It’s around this stage of the review I’d like to put in a ‘but…’

Greedy Guns 6

Careful now

But no, let’s not entertain that word just yet. The levels are large, sprawling and well designed. Paths will be out of reach, tantalising secrets will bother you from afar. Why must these metriody-game-thingys tease me so?! Naturally you’ll find power ups, such as the aforementioned dodge-roll and blocked paths will succumb to new abilities. Wouldn’t be much of a game if it didn’t.

Greedy Guns is a keen challenge. Enemies will swarm you. Bullets will fill the screen and this is a pleasant surprise as you duck, weave and return fire. It’s at around this time you notice the excellent design touches that come from rigorous iteration and a genuine love for the genre. You aim with the right stick, like you do. If you leave the stick pointing in a direction, the game doesn’t default fire to the direction you are facing. It sticks to the same position, at least till you stop firing. Enemies drop coins which never disappear. Oh how I love that. Get close to the coins and they’ll fly towards you.I know this may not sound like much, but after prolonged spells of play, these little touches make a huge difference.

Greedy Guns 4


Still no but….

The game’s pleasantly bug free, even with 2 players making a mess of the screen. I was able to revive my partner after they died under a black waterfall of doom. Greedy Guns is a blast playing with a friend and I’m pleased to report that the camera doesn’t go insane, but follows a single player. Yes, teamwork rears it’s ugly head and your arguments will be quite enjoyable. If the player with the camera dies, the remaining player can pick up a token to take control, and most likely, promptly die. One of the reasons for a swift demise is that you can’t shoot enemies off screen, despite knowing where they are. I’m not sure whether or not this was a design decision… but it does toughen the game up. If the checkpointing wasn’t fair, this would lead to some light fury.

The difficulty ramps up throughout the campaign and although tricky, it is never unfair. To remain fair we’ll need nice shiny new guns. First you’ll need to find them throughout the world, before you can buy them. I guess that’s better than the arbitrary drip fee of guns you’ll find in other games. Thankfully essential guns are easy to find. You knew what you were signing up for, remember the first picture?


No, really this time.

Greedy Guns Bug East 1

To the east you say?

Greedy Guns Bug East 2

You lying sod!

But we arrive to the only real problem I have with the Greedy Guns. We’ve seen this all before. From the power-ups to the guns, to the mild bullet-hell. The graphics are lovely, but of a type. They lack the dense character of a Metal Slug or the sheer invention of a Castlevania. The enemy variation is limited. You’ll fight bosses that become regular enemies. You’ll fight bosses with the same sprite sheet. Speed ups, chasm jumping, to that rapid fire gun. The game’s journey hits familiar beats and I’ll confess there wasn’t a moment that surprised me. I’m now at the age where I have no patience for revisiting areas, especially if there’s nothing new. When revisiting an area I can’t wait to rush through it, which leads to mistakes, which means I die and have to waste even more time. Yes, It feels like a waste of time. A newcomer, without my jaded eye would have a good time here. I did have a good time here. For those craving a solid shooty-platformer with exploration and barriers, this is the game for you.


Greedy Guns is nicely polished and has a pleasant way about itself. A tad old fashioned, which will delight fans of these types of games, but ultimately lacking sparkly magic.