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Motorsport Manager

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

You prepare the cars, race the cars, and sing the cars theme tune.

Have you ever wanted to experience the giddy thrill of the motorsport management? No…No… Not the cool driving bit, the sitting in the office bit. I’ve no interest in car sports and even less interest in the management side of things. So we bellow from the rooftops, “why am I playing this game and will it send me full Ecclestone?”

That was it for car-themed references, we won’t try that again.

On with the review

Hey, It’s That Guy!

THE FIRST (BUT DEFINITELY NOT THE LAST) LADY ENTRY IN ‘HEY, IT’S THAT GUY!’.

Every so often you’re flicking through TV channels and you come across a serious law enforcement drama. You know, like CSI or Law & Order. Or maybe NCIS. Or maybe NCIS Los Angeles. Then you notice that it stars LL Cool J & Chris ‘O Donnell. Where’s Chris ‘O Donnell been all this time?  I’m not sure if I can take him seriously as a policeman or whatever NCIS officers are. Why does something explode in every single episode of this show?

Sorry, I got slightly distracted there. Hey, I recognise that lady playing his boss…

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Elite Dangerous: Arena

Come one, come all. Welcome to the grand closure of a game mode I’d completely forgotten about.

I very much enjoyed Elite Dangerous, up until the time I didn’t. That wonderful apathetic feeling snuck up on me slowly like a cheeky, possibly green Thargoid* in an oversized stetson hat. I must confess, I didn’t visit Elite Dangerous: Arena, the all-action dogfighting spin-off. By all-action I mean, classic continually-turning spaceships attempting to get behind one another, in a glorious loop of attrition.

* A Thargoid isn’t a hemorrhoid cream, but the name of the aliens in the Elite universe.

Anyway, you can no longer buy Arena as a cheap standalone extra anymore. No players, playing, you see. As this modes redundancy arrives as we ask the more important question.

Why didn’t I love Elite Dangerous?

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Double Dragon IV

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Sometimes I look at a game’s file size and think, “wow over 500 MB. I’d love to see that crammed on a ye’ old cartridge! 90 hours of the finest midi music? Offph, just look at the size of that programming.” 

As a twinkly eyed youth I loved Dougle Dragnet and I’m unsure why there would be a direct sequel in 2017.

I hope the development team have taken note of all the lovely modern progress that’s going around.

Enough jibber-jabber, to the Review

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Watch Dogs 2

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

The following article was originally a comparison piece between Mafia III and Watchdogs 2, but that was about as interesting as the game Mafia III. Man, that got old quick.

My scrapped article had a great intro too, as I was standing on an incredibly cheap box, dishevelled in rags, screaming at passersby’s.

Oh well,

On to a standard ol’ review, this time with a light show!

Enter for Review: Light show not applicable