EARLY ACCESS REVIEW – PC VERSION
Prison Architect in Spaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Hnnngh my head… what the hell did I do last night? Wait, what have I been doing for the past week… Hnnnnngh.
Wanna hear all about it?
If you’re tempted to spend your days lazily writing about gamey-ma-jiggers, may I offer the following handy advice?
Don’t play the Witcher 3. You won’t have time for anything else. It’s a 10/10 game, but you knew that already didn’t ya.
Satellite Reign was a modernised Syndicate, in which 4 agents ran around the street mowing down civilians with a mini-gun. Yes, it was a delight. You can have a little read about Satellite Reign here, or look at a picture of original 90’s hit game…. here.
You can even read more on co-op…. wait for it…. here.
The worlds gone crazy for those Pokémon things. Wait… Maybe the world hasn’t. Maybe the press has gone crazy for those Pokémon things. It does make for a pleasant distraction from the constant horror of this world. So much horror.
What follows is a collection of thoughts from your friends at Inputerror. What do we make of Niantic’s smash hit walking around simulator?
I very much suspect the show will end with a big-bash-boosh of a tarty ending. So let’s all assume we’re all happy at the end and looking forward to the next series, which would, no doubt, be bigger and better.
It’s still mostly-spoiler free cos nothings fucking happened.
Hit mobile game Pokémon GO (also known as “The Poke-mans” by the elderly) has taken the world by storm but we can exclusively reveal yet another damaging news story amidst it’s dark underbelly.
What dark underbelly you say? Oh…. wouldn’t you like to know.
Be warned. The following could chill you to the bone.
Wait… Just how short is Bulb Boy? it took me 98 minutes to save the day and I’d admit, I was in no rush to get to the end. Now I’ve conquered the world and stood upon its flaming ground, beating my chest, I instantly knew in my heart(s) I’d never return. Not even for a trophy or achievement, such is the nature of the point and click adventure game. Especially one without any apparent hidden depths.
Wanna look at some pretty pictures and skip to the score? Yeah, go for it mate.
Stikbold looks rather silly doesn’t it, go on, go have a look at the pictures… I’ll wait. Makes sense when the sport’s based around throwing weighty objects at children’s heads. Excellent, we can all get behind that concept.
Let’s find ou- *SMACK* “Ooooofff! You bastard.”
Do you know what’s better than a police detective?
Yes, that’s right, a smug consultant showing the incompetent police how it’s done.
Let’s enter the nosy, busy-body world of top notch amateur sleuthing. They don’t play by the rules, they don’t know the rules.
Insert the finest tobacco into your favoured pipe, as we review every single one of these shows ever! At the end we’ll decide which one is the best!
So I’m starting to think that this the perfect rock song.
Everyone wants to be Josh Homme. Everyone wants to drum like Dave Grohl.
Now, everyone air guitar! Now everyone air drum!
That bass bit.