The wonderful thing about most VR games is that they’re piss-easy to review, as you’ve finished them by the time you finished reading this.
So the ultimate question is…
… Is Batman: Arkham VR worth your money?
Also, how the hell do you give it a score?
Welcome to an exceedingly short review to match the length of the game.
Did any of you kindly upstanding people play the Shadow Warrior reboot a few years ago? It was pretty good. Before Nu-Doom stole all the party poppers and set off a one man conga line, 2013’s Shadow Warrior showed just how fun a simple ol’ fashioned gore em’ up could be. Who doesn’t like chopping demons into itty-bitty bits at top speed? Incidentally I’ve now retired the term “Nu-Doom”, so let’s not use that ever again. Ever.
So, review of a sequel ‘ey? How long before we fall deep into clichés and references to the original game…. Let’s try to avoid that, right? Right?
Released on the 6th of October 2016 Syndrome is a sci-fi survival horror game set on a scary spaceship.
*Glug, glug, glug* – Ohhhh, that’s a smooth rum. Ok, ready?
Director: Don McKellar / Screenplay: Don McKellar / Release date: 2 July 1999 (UK)
Actors: Don McKellar, Sandra Oh / Genre: Disaster Film ‧ 1h 35min
When it comes to the human race’s last night on earth, humanity should really be the focus.
Made in 1998 this low budget Canadian film, starred and directed by Don McKellar has all but disappeared from retailers. So try not to confuse this with a 2010 film with the exact same name. I suspect that film’s a load of ol’ wank. I mean, that version doesn’t star David Cronenberg, does it!
Ravey-ravey, rave, rave! Ba-doing, Ba-ding! Jumpy Jumpy Jump!
With Playstation VR primed for the general public, here’s a selection of game ideas I’ve been desperate to play.
Where are the trailblazing Miyamotos of the VR world? Where are the pioneers giving us experiences we simply cannot imagine? Standing about in a cave or waving a sword around is a cool tech demo, but not exactly a proper game I’ll return to again and again. New technology, same ol’ ideas. Give it time, they will come.
Mmmm, yes, that’s is very good VR.
Here’s the top 5 games I would love to play in Virtual Reality.
A PS3 game? That was a whole console generation ago? How obscure! I can hear the gasps from here. At some point in time, I suspect we’ll be unable to download old PS3 titles. Plus there’s a good chance you’ve never heard of it.
Wait, so what in the cheesehats is this game?
Trash Panic is dustbin Tetris. Released in 2009 to little fanfare it wasn’t a must-have game. Still isn’t. It is a fun two player game to play against people who have never heard of it. Should be pretty bloody cheap by now too. Brilliantly there was some sort of environmental Captain Planet message mixed into the gameplay, with naughty emissions and eco friendly ways to get rid of the trash; bless ’em.
Trash Panic is a capable single player game, but the following is a guide on how to play it with friends.
You know the score by now, we are rapidly reaching a conclusion to our grand camping adventure.
Let’s dip into the penultimate diary of Lloyd, Vix, Scott and introducing the fine upstanding gentleman monkey Gerald.
We’ve grown up in era that records time differently to any other. We are our own surveillance system. The keyboard’s mightier then the pen! Unless there’s a power cut. Of course, we are not the first to witness life changing technology but we are the coolest and most rad, because we can tell everyone, IN CAPS, directly to one another.
Reminds me. I must ask my parents what it was like growing up with the introduction of the magic moving picture boxes. The very same boxes we carry around in our pockets and strap to our eyeballs to enter. We are living in Willy Wonka times.
Technology’s great isn’t it!
What’s it like growing up with computer games and more importantly, what’s next?
Why, that’s an easy questions to answer!
Does the game have a clear roadmap?
I’m glad to say Battle Brothers does indeed have a plan. Good.
Does the game receive regular updates ?
Silence, inaction and a lack of meaningful progression cause mild panic attacks and a faint sadness behind the eyes. Luckily Battle Brothers has received a fair few updates since I last tried checked it out and has been much improved.
So the last question we have…. Is Battle Brothers worth your time?
Shooty-ball game. No wait Videoball!
Fair warning: – Booze was involved in this quick look. Also shouting.
Yes, this is the song trapped in my head this month. Honest. Good ol’ fashioned man rock with a full complement of denim coverings.
Lovely stuff.
So you command a police force: The computer game. Wonderful. I really do enjoy these types or games and it’s been a while since I’ve played a decent one. Imperio…. isn’t that a make of car? What a rather silly name.
Ok, let’s talk about why this game pisses me off so much.
Hooray! So I went to that Americos, the Land of the Free an’ that. It was fun. How does it compare to sunny, upbeat cheery London?
Would you like a fantastic and exciting list on my findings?
Hey, do you know when the game media becomes a gibbering wreck for certain games and can’t shut the fuck up about it. Lets see how one of those follow up articles looks when the games without any hype and the game is, in fact, quite shit.
Let’s talk about the forgotten Kick Off Revival. That’s a thing to do, right?
So what’s new? Is the game better? Does my hair look nice today?
Look at this below! Only 44 seconds of your time! I mean, it’s Link flying around an open world like a lunatic!
Still… Could be rubbish though.
You see that bit when Link dropped a bomb!
Might turn out to be another bloody disappointment. Bet Link has a tiny inventory.
Paraglider!!!!!
In short, the PES2017 demo is very good. Players seem more responsive and manoeuvrable. Hey, take a look at this in my second game.
For an optimum viewing experience, please sneak a look on your work computer, when everyone’s turned away for that split second. For some reason it’s a jerky mess on a mobile.
Good isn’t it! Wanna see it from another angle? Wanna read a real life review with words an that, you can click here?
Mei the Assassin joins the drunken survivors comprised of Vix, Lloyd and me, Scott in their wacky (they are most certainly not!) adventures in RimWorld.
A camp has been set up, food prepared and strangely, a collection of Turkeys has been gathered. Somehow no-ones died and chaos has generally been averted. It’s all been quite polite really. Well there was that time they brutally murdered a bloke called Tiger and dumped him round the back of some rubble. It’s been mostly polite.
Let’s dip into what they’ve been up to?
Reviewing No Mans Sky was a painful process. I understood why groups of people were upset with the results and empathise with the pressures of releasing a game without all the hyped features. It would have been wise to have a friendly sit-down chat with the world, explaining what didn’t make it into the game. That might have defused the situation, even if a few pre-orders might have been cancelled.
No Mans Sky is a game few people would adore and (I suspect) a larger majority might find slightly boring. At least after the initial wonder had worn off. I happen to be one of the people that find pleasure in wandering the galaxy without much focus. This is not a game for everyone. Unfortunately marketing teams don’t care about such things.
So patches will come and new features will be added. Here’s an agreeable list of what I would love to see added to No Mans Sky in the coming months.
Yes, indeed. I was correct to throw money at Playtonic money. Shall we gloat online? Why not! Yes, that was a wise investment. Mmmmm, that feels lovely.
Wait… What if it’s a buggy release? What if it’s not released at all! What if it is released, but is a gigantic mess? What if it isn’t the spiritual successor to Banjo Kazooie!
Arghh doubt! So much doubt. Oh, look. A trailer.
Looks fine. Panic over.
There you have it. Yooka-Laylee is shaping up nicely. Nice one.
