Videogames

Planet Xerg has come under attack from the Beastoids. Oh, computer game plots.

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Camping adventures in Rimworld: Part 4

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The continuing and possibly sexy adventures of a rapidly vicious group of beloved friends (gang) in Rimworlllddddddddddddddddddddd.

Part 1 of our incredible diary begins here, I refuse to reveal where part 2 lives and part 3 hides here.  Wanna read a review of the game, find it yourself you lazy tike.

You know the score by now, we are rapidly reaching a conclusion to our grand camping adventure.

Let’s dip into the penultimate diary of Lloyd, Vix, Scott and introducing the fine upstanding gentleman monkey Gerald.

To the campsite

Terribly Nice Gamer

Growing up in the Future

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Thanks servers, nice one internet. Now we can’t forget any of the things. No-one can. It’s logged somewhere. This is the future, sunshine.

We’ve grown up in era that records time differently to any other. We are our own surveillance system. The keyboard’s mightier then the pen! Unless there’s a power cut. Of course, we are not the first to witness life changing technology but we are the coolest and most rad, because we can tell everyone, IN CAPS, directly to one another.

Reminds me. I must ask my parents what it was like growing up with the introduction of the magic moving picture boxes. The very same boxes we carry around in our pockets and strap to our eyeballs to enter. We are living in Willy Wonka times.

willy wonka

Technology’s great isn’t it!

What’s it like growing up with computer games and more importantly, what’s next?

No really…

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Battle Brothers – Early Access Look

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What makes a good early access game? How can you trust such a changeable thing? The money could dry up at any time. Endings might be forsaken. No resolution. 

Why, that’s an easy questions to answer!

Does the game have a clear roadmap?

I’m glad to say Battle Brothers does indeed have a plan. Good.

Does the game receive regular updates ?

Silence, inaction and a lack of meaningful progression cause mild panic attacks and a faint sadness behind the eyes. Luckily Battle Brothers has received a fair few updates since I last tried checked it out and has been much improved.

So the last question we have…. Is Battle Brothers worth your time?

Come and find out. I said COME IN!

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Police Tactics Imperio

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SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

I do enjoy a nice isometric town with small people to bother. Let’s bother all the small people. Clicking their little heads. Go on, move… move on my command. Cue mighty laughter.

So you command a police force: The computer game. Wonderful. I really do enjoy these types or games and it’s been a while since I’ve played a decent one. Imperio…. isn’t that a make of car? What a rather silly name.

Ok, let’s talk about why this game pisses me off so much.

More Polis

Dino Dini's Kick Off Revival

Dino Dini’s Kick Off Revival: 1.3 Update

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SHORT REVIEW UPDATE: PS4 VERSION

Kick Off Revival received a much needed update. Wait, has anyone played it since release? I haven’t. I wonder if they included any bloody game modes? Who knows, it might even be alright.

Hey, do you know when the game media becomes a gibbering wreck for certain games and can’t shut the fuck up about it. Lets see how one of those follow up articles looks when the games without any hype and the game is, in fact, quite shit.

Let’s talk about the forgotten Kick Off Revival. That’s a thing to do, right?

So what’s new? Is the game better? Does my hair look nice today?

TOOT!

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Zelda: Breath of the Wild – Weeeeeeeeeeeee gameplay

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As a general rule, never get excited about anything. Ever. 

Look at this below! Only 44 seconds of your time! I mean, it’s Link flying around an open world like a lunatic!

Still… Could be rubbish though.

You see that bit when Link dropped a bomb!

Might turn out to be another bloody disappointment. Bet Link has a tiny inventory.

Paraglider!!!!!

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Pro Evolution Soccer 2017: Demo

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I absolutely loved Pro 2016. Why, that was a vintage year. So let’s gently vibrate at the correct levels of excitement for the new fancy demo.

In short, the PES2017 demo is very good. Players seem more responsive and manoeuvrable. Hey, take a look at this in my second game.

For an optimum viewing experience, please sneak a look on your work computer, when everyone’s turned away for that split second. For some reason it’s a jerky mess on a mobile.

Pro 2017 keeper

Good isn’t it! Wanna see it from another angle? Wanna read a real life review with words an that, you can click here?

just another giff here

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Camping adventures in Rimworld: Part 3

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What’s this diary thing about? How did it reach part 3? What to know more? 

Are you the kind of lunatic that wants to start at the beginning? Part 1 resides here, or if you’re quite sensible and wish to start in the middle, Part 2 is here.  In the mood to read a most excellent review of the game? You can check that out here.

Mei the Assassin joins the drunken survivors comprised of Vix, Lloyd and me, Scott in their wacky (they are most certainly not!) adventures in RimWorld.

A camp has been set up, food prepared and strangely, a collection of Turkeys has been gathered. Somehow no-ones died and chaos has generally been averted. It’s all been quite polite really. Well there was that time they brutally murdered a bloke called Tiger and dumped him round the back of some rubble. It’s been mostly polite.

Let’s dip into what they’ve been up to?

To the campsite

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10 Things I want from No Mans Sky: Achievable download features

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Reviewing No Mans Sky was a painful process. I understood why groups of people were upset with the results and empathise with the pressures of releasing a game without all the hyped features. It would have been wise to have a friendly sit-down chat with the world, explaining what didn’t make it into the game. That might have defused the situation, even if a few pre-orders might have been cancelled.

No Mans Sky is a game few people would adore and (I suspect) a larger majority might find slightly boring. At least after the initial wonder had worn off. I happen to be one of the people that find pleasure in wandering the galaxy without much focus. This is not a game for everyone. Unfortunately marketing teams don’t care about such things.

So patches will come and new features will be added. Here’s an agreeable list of what I would love to see added to No Mans Sky in the coming months.

I WANT

Yooka-Laylee

Yooka-Laylee: Smug Kickstarting

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Kickstarting any project should come with the following warning: “You might not get jack, son”.

Yes, indeed. I was correct to throw money at Playtonic money. Shall we gloat online? Why not! Yes, that was a wise investment. Mmmmm, that feels lovely.

Wait… What if it’s a buggy release? What if it’s not released at all! What if it is released, but is a gigantic mess? What if it isn’t the spiritual successor to Banjo Kazooie!

Arghh doubt! So much doubt. Oh, look. A trailer.

Looks fine. Panic over.

There you have it. Yooka-Laylee is shaping up nicely. Nice one.

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No Mans Sky

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NO MANS REVIEW: PC VERSION

Almost certainly, some guys sky.

Could this be the biggest indie game launch known to (no) man? Years of forthy build up and delays sent the general public into meltdown. Nah, not really. It was a few loud-mouthed people typing into the internet at great pace. I’m pretty sure more sensible game enthusiasts were happy to sit back and wait for the release, but that doesn’t make much of a story.

“Sensible crowd waits patiently for games release without resorting to hyperbole”.

That doesn’t have a good ring to it.

I’ve reached a cataclysmic PC crash situation stopping further exploration, so now’s a good time to talk about…

The hotly anticipated.

Exciting.

Wait for it…..

The flying around in a spaceship for reasons game.

No Mans Sky. The computer game.

(more…)

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Bears Can’t Drift

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SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Bears (Brian) Cant Drift: The Wacky Karting game for all you crazy kids.

Once upon a time, the world of gaming was awash with cute mascot kart games. As the years tumbled away, the innocent cynical cash grab of the cute mascot racer fell from favour. In the end, only Mario Kart stood tall with competitors shrugging their shoulders with hands in pockets, smoking around a fiery dustbin.

Anyway.

Let’s check out Bears Can’t Drift… I mean its got a great name and who doesn’t like bears? I do like a neat little karting game.

beep beep

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No Mans Sky: Day One Purchaser Review

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I’m a huge fan of hype. No wait, i can explain why.

Let’s take a peak at Brian Concarman, who has decided to rush to the shop in a desperate effort to purchase a copy of No Mans Sky.

Brian has just exited his favoured shop clutching a day one copy of critical smash hit No Man’s Sky. He managed to steer clear of the reviews because of the review embargo and had no idea what he was buying because of the marketing. Blimey, look at the excitement!

Oh, he’s just got home!

Lets sneak peak into the world of Brian

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Camping adventures in Rimworld: Part 2

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Rim, Rim, Rim. Rimworld. You might be wise to read Part 1 here, or if you’re the kinky sort, a proper decent old fashioned review here.

Part one introduced us to the incredible team of Lloyd the pissed, Vix the master builder and some other guy as they began a slapdash attempt at survival in a harsh alien environment. Oh, also Gerald the monkey, don’t forget the pet monkey. They had survived a season without any serious problems and now we ask the question.

Wot next?

To the campsite

Rimworld header

Camping adventures in Rimworld: Part 1

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Rimworld is an unfinished group survival game I’ve spent far too much time on. A loving propa’ review is here.

In an incredible turn of events Rimworld allows you to set up your own scenarios. Joy! We can’t pass this opportunity up. Let’s see what happens when we set the game to it’s more interesting randomised settings. How will our three campers fare in the: –

“The Great Camp”

Tagline – “Three friends go on a camping adventure that will forever change their lives”.

Wot could possibly go wrong?

To the wilds!

Party Hard

Party Hard

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SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Marty Facade at Mardi Gras looking to Party Hard.

*Glasses precariously balanced on the edge of nose, whilst looking over the rim* Oh yes… a game called Party Hard you say. *Pushes glasses with index finger into correct position*. A game in which you take control of a small pixel art chap, running around a single screen clearing the party of its guests. Very well. Seems like the sort of thing you whipper-snappers would enjoy.

Party Hard

Hnngh, gotta Party Hard

satellite reign

Satellite Reign – 4 Player Co-op

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Once upon a time, back in the heady days of March, I spouted word gibberish about my love for Satellite Reign. It was in fact, the 2nd review eva’ round these parts. What a golden era that was.

Satellite Reign was a modernised Syndicate, in which 4 agents ran around the street mowing down civilians with a mini-gun. Yes, it was a delight. You can have a little read about Satellite Reign here, or look at a picture of original 90’s hit game…. here.

Syndicate

I love the smell of mini-gun in the morning.

You can even read more on co-op…. wait for it…. here.

More Boy?!

pokemon

Pokémon GO: Initial thoughts

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The worlds gone crazy for those Pokémon things. Wait… Maybe the world hasn’t. Maybe the press has gone crazy for those Pokémon things. It does make for a pleasant distraction from the constant horror of this world. So much horror.

What follows is a collection of thoughts from your friends at Inputerror. What do we make of Niantic’s smash hit walking around simulator?

Catch!

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