22nd June 2016

Dex

Scott Pritchard Short Game Reviews 0 Comments

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

**I’d never heard of Dex. But no… wait. This is enhanced Dex… meaning it’s far better than the normal everyday Dex you’ve enjoyed. Note – I’ve no idea what part of Dex is enhanced.**

Originally a successful kickstarter campaign in 2012 the game was released last year. Thanks for the facts Mr Billy Internet.

Side scrolling cyberpunk… wait CyberPunk? Are we talking about Bladerunner again? Also why Punk? Can’t it be Cyber-Guys, Cyber-Gents, Cyber-Coats, Cyber-Chavs?

Reminds me of The Way, which was reviewed a month ago. Dex does look graphically similar. Ye gods, I hope this isn’t anymore nostalgia bait.

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20th June 2016

House of the Dying Sun

Scott Pritchard Short Game Reviews Early Access 0 Comments

Despite how it looks, I’m doing rather well here. Honest.

SHORT REVIEW: Early access REVIEW – PC Version

Put away your flightsticks young man. Please remain calm sir, I’m not talking about VR Porn.

The resurgence of the space flight sim is a wonderful thing. The games industry ignored the genre and you hear the sound of a thousand publishers weeping as Star Citizen crosses the $100,000,000,000,000.24 mark.

On first glance you would think my trusty flight stick would get a run out here, but nope. Control pad recommended, as this has more in common with Colony Wars on the Playstation than Elite Dangerous.

Let’s hold hands to cross the road as we ask the question, to looming trucks headlights. Is that a good thing?

From the official website – “right now I have no plans to add or change anything major to the game. The remaining work will center around bugs, weapons, upgrades, wave clear, and mission balance.” Great. Let’s review this sucker now and revisit on official release.

Blast Off an’ that

19th June 2016

Don’t Shit Your Pants

Scott Pritchard Videogames 0 Comments

TENSE!

More of a cautionary tale then a game, channelling the tenants of inner strength, peace and intelligence.

Similar to Witcher 3 in tone and scope, Don’t Shit Your Pants is an epic open world room with multi-branch choice system. Incredibly stressful as the timer slowly ticks down to a brown conclusion. You must act purposely, but within reason.

Hold… it

17th June 2016

My Top 3 E3 Announcements: Definitely, Maybe

GamerDownStreet Videogames E3 0 Comments

Editor – A new face appears! Let’s have a quick peek at his crazed E3 Mutterings.

You want my top 3 E3 announcements? You got them! Firstly, I would have put more but I thought a top 3 was enough for you guys. I would have loved to be there though right in the heart of it, rubbing shoulders with weird corporate folk pretending to be trendy when really they just want your monies, so here goes!!!

I’d just like to say, E3 wasn’t terrible this year. There were many wow factors, a lot of nodding heads and waving of arms so surely that’s positive… oh and there was more VR. We like VR right?

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17th June 2016

Top 3 E3 Announcements: Kinda

Scott Pritchard Videogames E3 0 Comments

E3! C’mon, say hooray with me! “HOORAY!”

Get excited little people as marketing departments go into overdrive! We can’t ignore marketing now, can we!

With instant information at our fingertips the Electronic Entertainment Expo’s barely relevant these days. I’ve no idea why any games journalist would waste their time going, when you can watch all the trailers from the comfort of home.

So buckle up for the top 3 announcements that excited me this week, as I sipped tea from the comfort of my chair.

E3! CLICK HERE!

16th June 2016

Fallout Shelter

Faulstinho Di Trickyshit Short Game Reviews Euro 2016, From the Touchline, Mobile Gaming 0 Comments

SHORT REVIEW – FROM THE TOUCHLINE – ANDROID VERSION

Welcome to today’s game, Portugal Vs Iceland.

Kick off 8pm. Referee: Mr Quaki Limbeer.

“So Faulstinho Di Trickyshit, have you tried Fallout Shelter?”

“I loves the Fallouts! Boom, head explode! Very funny.”

“erm, I don’t think this is the Fallout you’re thinking of Faulstinho.”

“Yes, I cant wait to explore!”

Kick off

15th June 2016

The Top 5 John Carpenter films

Scott Pritchard Film 0 Comments

I love John Carpenter. What better way to praise the man than creating an agreeable and pleasing list.

This is a man that changed horror, promoted diversity and created classics within very modest budgets.

Obey and read the following crud

John Carpenter’s music and art still inspire generations later. They might not know “They Live”, but they certainty conform and obey for some cool t-shirts.

I would have loved to have seen what a young John Carpenter could have created with a massive budget and the freedom to use it.

Yes, please hum your favoured John Carpenter track…. now!

On with the list!

14th June 2016

The inability to play a Mad Max

Scott Pritchard Features, Videogames Not Review 0 Comments

It sits in the pile, a fine game indeed. I cannot get up, cannot plug in. Time passes, i relent, I click Rocket League again.

Mad Max, is an open world game with exciting car chases, wandering and meaty combat.

Purchased at the beginning at the year I acquired Mad Max and immediately slogged through the early story missions. I fannied around in the sand dunes, an’ bombed around in Max’s car. Much enjoyment was had. After a few days of play I didn’t return. So how did I manage to play everything else in my collection but Mad Max?

How does that happen?

Let’s evaluate my poor tired brain

11th June 2016

The Ren and Stimpy Show

Scott Pritchard Television Retrospectives Cartoon, Tex Avery 0 Comments

Television retrospective

STEIIIIIIMPPPY!!!!! YOU EEEIDDDDIOT!

You know you’ve made it when people are buying cuddly toys of your animated stars. Even if it stars a psychopathic Chihuahua and a simple-minded Cat. Back in the nineties Ren and Stimpy swept onto screen to acclaim and controversy. Mostly controversy.

Poor Sweet Ren

Imagine my surprise when I came across the delightful “magic nose goblins” whilst eating dinner with the family. Imagine the horror as the camera zooms in for an extreme close up of Ren’s withered face.

Imagine eating to this?

Whoever was in charge of the scheduling on BBC2 is a national hero.

Joy!

9th June 2016

Hey, do you remember that VR thing?

Scott Pritchard Features, Videogames Oculus Rift, VR 0 Comments

From the pen of the swanky games journalist

Let’s reinvigorate the excitement glands as we take a trip down virtual lane.

Virtual Reality headsets are viable now! Remember the Virtual Boy?! Crazy; those crazy Nintendo guys. Put on the special headset, open your eyes and sit in an F1 car, walk through the accountants office or even fly like a bird! You wont puke up, this is the future. You living in the future right now. But remember, vomit will not spill from your gob.

Mmmm, yes, that’s is very good VR.

Year before release. Best pre-order that VR as soon as possible, don’t get left behind, you chumps. We’ve been playing VR a year before release. Eiffel Tower in your house! We can’t describe the experience, you have to try it.

More exciting VR hype!

8th June 2016

Shadow of Mordor: Game of the Year Edition

Scott Pritchard Short Game Reviews 1 Comment

Sweet Sunset over Mordor. Please remember, you can push O for your hanging pleasure.

Short Review / SEMI-RETROSPECTIVE : PS4 Version

You’ve seen the “Lord of that Rings” film, now get ready for another computer game. You play as Talion, a ranger man with spooky powers. Now buckle in for a buzzword of a exciting word and verb noun MacDonald.

Hmm, it’s a bit of an old game to review, a whole year and a bit ago. In game years (much like dog years) you could say it’s technically over 7 years old now. Let’s not worry about time or relevance. None of that matters. Nothing ever matters.

Disclaimer – The following contains vast amounts of swearing, which sounds as if I was frothing at the keyboard. So please, imagine a dishevelled hermit screaming from a rock, wrapped in a formally wet smoking jacket made from own-brand tissues.

On with the Show!

7th June 2016

Preacher

Scott Pritchard Television Review "Pilot", "See", Spoiler-Free 0 Comments

Spoiler-free Television Review: Season 1 – Episodes 1 & 2

A “thing” happens to misery-guts Preacher Jesse Custer. Finding out what that is, is half the fun. Unless you’ve read the comics… That’s ok. You can derive pleasure by complaining it’s not identical to the drawings. It’s a Win – Win!

Sorry, it’s now far too late to read through the Preacher back catalogue or even flick through IMDB. Best get watchin’ the first episode. C’mon quick, before its thoroughly spoiled by loved ones, friends and disgusting social media.

Before you start, I best warn you that the comic didn’t hold back on its strong themes, with a grand capacity to be crude, violent and outlandish in equal measure. Also, as you can tell from the title of the show. There might be the odd religious thing thrown into the mix.

Excited aren’t you.

YEP… Nod

2nd June 2016

Downwell

Scott Pritchard Short Game Reviews 0 Comments

Ka-Boom and friends

VERY SHORT REVIEW: pc VERSIOn

**An independently made game? In this day and age? Well I never.**

Who is this little bloke falling down a well? Why jump down a well? For riches? Fame? For Fun? Doesn’t sound fun to me. In fact it sounds horrifying.

Who in the buggary-hats came up with such a horrible concept? Let’s see if I can get past this haunting premise…

Jump!

2nd June 2016

Songs on Loop – #4

Scott Pritchard Songs on Loop Rock Lobster, The B52's 0 Comments

The B52’s – Rock Lobster

A dangerous song known to become trapped in ones mind for years at a time.

Listen at your peril!

1st June 2016

Gravity Rush Remastered

Scott Pritchard Short Game Reviews 0 Comments

Oh, Hai Kat.

SHORT REVIEW: PS4 VERSIOn

Weeeeeeeeeeeeee! The game.

The original Gravity Rush was released on an abandoned handheld system back in 2012. What a delightfully innocent time. Arrr… 2012… a time where you can leave your front door open, use the term “cowabunga” and cripple bullies without he need for police involvement.

Anyway, the original version fully exploited the lil’ PS Vita system, using every gimmick in the book. A few years later we warmly welcome a re-purposed, re-released Gravity Rush for the PS4. Sliding into scene with updated controls with a lick of new graphical paint, we ask the question…

Does it blend… No wait…

…Does it hold up?

30th May 2016

Shadwen

Scott Pritchard Short Game Reviews 0 Comments

Brown. Brawm. Bronw. Brawn.

You little Sleepwalking wanker.

SHORT REVIEW: PC VERSION

Shadwell.

Sleepwalker was a great little game. Do you remember it? You had to babysit a sleeping idiot child forever walking forward into traps. It was a novel idea at the time. Ok the idea itself was great, but I didn’t really like the actual game. Frustrated the hell outta me.

Hey? What’s this Shadwen game? Just where did that come from?

Hold on, what does it want? Why is it holding a knife? Oh f-

Shadwell?

30th May 2016

Empire – Typical episode review.

Scott Pritchard Television Not Review 0 Comments

The Scene: A tacky penthouse adorned with cheap props.

Enter Lucious Lyon mumbling, scratching and complaining. He acts and looks like an early 90’s tough gangster type. For no reason whatsoever he sits at the piano and breaks out in song. He sounds closer to Stevie Wonder, instantly breaking the tough gangster illusion the show so desperately craves.

The song is heartfelt tale about his troubled childhood and scotch eggs.

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