Hey you guys,
You wouldn’t know this, but I didn’t abandon that apprenticeship article. Every and now and then I’ve tickled it with a little update. Just an on-going diary showing how utterly apathetic the scheme is.
Click here to check out the on-going nonsense updates.
Enjoy.
A platform game you say? Small child in a big world you say? Reminds you of a certain indie game does it? Reference that later shall we?
I’ve watched a bit of the ol’ new Shadow of ya Mordor’s and a bit of the ol’ online Pirate Games. Oh yes, they are oh-so-lovely. Although, most of the exciting things tend to have 2018 release dates … Can you wait guys? Can you?
Second showing for Run The Jewels on Songs on Loop and I think that’s allowed. I mean, this has been trapped in my head for the last few days.
Also, what an adorable music video.
I’m glad you’ve noticed that you haven’t had to tolerate a cacophony of brightly-coloured shitty flash adverts clogging up the site. Sorry in advance for the unskippable advert on the following video.
More to the point, I’m excited about a game! The chap that created the original X-Com has turned to crowdfunding kickstarer-alike Fig to create his true successor. Lovely.
They did say that right? Well, I guess this is the first time Bulb Boy’s left the safety of PC-land to console valley.
Now, I’m not saying I had any influence on one of the biggest companies in the world, renowned for doing their own thing, often with baffling result; but I did say Bulb Boy would be most excellent on a phone an’ that’.
Hey, would be nice if they brought over a Towerfall, Black and White Bushido, or some other excellent single-screen local multiplayer titles to a multiplayer handheld.
Anyways, you can read my Bulb Boy pc review here. If you’re in the mood. It’s pretty short.
No… I won’t force you to click more. You can look at the Switch trailer below.
Why, it’s a nerd game in which you do a Star Trek. You start with a single planet and attempt to best rival civilisations to take over the galaxy. Hopefully to the soundtrack of an 80’s montage sequence. You’re the best, AROUND!
The first game had interesting races, smooth presentation and was very easy to negotiate.
Yes, I liked it a lot. Now that Stellaris is out the way, I’m very much looking forward to taking over the galaxy again. Always with the taking over the galaxy. Every few weeks. I can’t help it.
Looks great. Tons of personality. Doesn’t work.
I could end the review here.
Sigh.. fine.
You wake to the same murder rich Saturday in the fantastical hotel known as The Sexy Brutale. You’ll find yourself tracking fellow guests attempting to influence their macabre fates. To stop direct meddling the guests masquerade masks angrily come to life, requiring you to keep your distance. To combat this you’ll need to peak through doors an’ prick your ears, just like you do in real life, every weekend.
Beyond the games many, many achievements I’m going to concentrate on its technical shortcomings, as I’m a total and utter bastard.
Not so long ago we wrote a fantastical and utterly accurate diary and even scribbled down an early access review. So I hope that gives you an indication of how much life it ate.
So please enjoy this video. Or if you’re not in the mood to watch a 20 minute vid, please enjoy a summing up after the break.
It was a good game with some glaring issues and a terrible mid-game lull. You can read about it here.
I made the bold prediction that the game would be much improved in time. After all, these are the devs continually working on the evergreen Crusader Kings II…
So, we ask the question absolutely no-one’s asking. After many an update, is Stellaris the nerd space game from my fantasies?
Man, that Endless Space 2 looks good… Let’s keep this brief.
Do you know whats worse then being sickly for a week?
Waking to find one of your musical heroes has died.
Farewell Chris Cornell and thank you.
ICO was interesting wasn’t it. A whole game of dragging a useless princess around…. I’m not sure we could make that game now. In this new age, the horned-boy would have to worry about what he’s grabbing. Blimey, was that really a game from 2001… Bloody hell everyone.
Shadow of the Colossus arrived in 2005 and has received enough praise it’s now on the cusp of becoming self aware. No, really. It’s dangerous to mention it more then once.
In the years of technical advancements since that game, how does the generation-dodging spiritual successor fare?
Firstly it is a fantastic game.
If you hadn’t already, you should try Rocket League at least once. At the price of ‘nought, you have no excuse.
Joey Jo Jo’s hot 10 game streak
Do you crave ‘dose tips, to stay cool with the kids? You wanna know what’s hot or not? You want that juicy clickbait?
You come to the right place as we dish out some top, top tips for the over 30’s who wanna stay super-radicool. No-one’s crying in the shower tonight, no-way hosay.
The gentleman behind Future of the Left has been a busy chap, but enough chitter-chatter. Here’s a sneak peak of the 4th Album from Christian Fitness.
Meaty isn’t it.
Yes, I’m sitting within a real office environment following such sage advice. Remember, it is a trap.
A soundtrack that could work in any film or TV Show… Maybe with a Luke Cage or somethin’.
I acquired the game on release with wholesome bright-eyes and a whistle in my heart, before writing my initial thoughts a week later.
Do not let John Link near a pen.
A whole months dedicated play later, I finally feel comfortable in dishing out a score. Yes, you heard right, it took a month to fully absorb. That’s the kind of hard hitting hot-take you can expect around here.
Oohhh, what number did it get?
So, click here to skip directly to the review and nod.
For those that have already read the review, why not skip directly to the score, and give an even mightier nod. If you disagree with said numbered score, please read through the word-parts for a full and frank explanation. If you are still troubled by the score afterwards, please register a complaint at the passing clouds, whilst shaking your fist.
